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Seems you're married to a complex, living, breathing human being, not some cardboard cutout stereotype. If he wanted it once per month would you understand this? Once per day would bring understanding? Once per year? If he never wanted it would that make sense? You didn't let us know what your expectation is. My point is that people are complex. Put two people together and everything gets more complex. Your life project is to gain some understanding of yourself and those around you and hopefully be able to shape your life with that knowledge. First task is to 1) create a list of the facts (not opinion) about the relationship and then 2) create a list of what you want out of this relationship. Since you mentioned sex, focus on that first. Pencil and paper works fine. I prefer e docs or a e spreadsheet. Next you need to take out a piece of paper. Draw a simple Venn diagram with two overlapping circles. One circle be labelled "What I want". The other circle be labelled "What my partner wants". You now get to spend the rest of your life (or the life of the relationship) filling in the details of the Venn diagram. Both of the above activities don't require communication with your partner. At some point you want to loop him in on this exercise. Do so tactfully, since he's a living, breathing human being with emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and limitations. If it's too hard to get the ball rolling then consider getting a mediator/counselor to help guide the conversation. lonely wifes in MoenaWell, then, let me be clear. If I insinuated that people shouldn't go into straight bars by explicitly saying that straight people should be cautious of going into bars, let me state in no uncertain terms that I certainly didn't mean to. Because straight people and people are not the same. The impact of a person going into a straight bar is not the same as the impact of the reverse happening. The outcome is not the same. The meaning is not the same. So stating that one is acceptable does not in any way, shape, or form mean that I also believe the other is acceptable. In an imaginary utopia where people were absolutely, positively equal to straight people and treated that way by society, the two acts would be functionally identical and I would agree with you unhesitatingly. But we don't live in that world yet. And until we do, pretending that the two things are the same is damaging, because it sends straight people the message that they are not in a position of privilege, in turn allowing them to deny that there are any problems with the state of sexuality in this country. So the problem never gets solved. discreet dating
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