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The next morning she slipped out of bed while he was still dozing and padded quietly to the bathroom. She peed, and washed her hands, splashed some water on her face…and looked at herself in the big mirror behind the sink. Normally she didn’t look at herself too closely in the mirror – body image issues (as the self help books said), and a faint, sublimated revulsion at what she’d let herself become over the years. But now, in the quiet of the morning, she looked at her reflection not with distaste but with…a kind of fascination. Like she was looking at a stranger…or she was looking at herself when she was fifteen or years old – when she made her very first, most tentative, naïve explorations of her sexuality, her own self pleasure… She studied the bruises, the bite marks, the hand prints and stripes, that covered her body front and back – the splotchy circles of black bruising where’d he’d bound and cinched her breasts … She wasn’t seeing a blobby, flabby, out of shape middle aged woman – which was how she usually saw herself. Instead she saw a woman, a girl on the verge of sexual awakening – full of life and potential … and most importantly, a woman not afraid to plunge into the unknown (she’d spent so much – too much – of her life afraid… She found herself thinking about last night – all the things she’d done, all the things he’d done to her – on her knees with her hands cuffed behind her back, choking on his rigid cock while he slapped her face and pulled her hair and ed her those awful names (bitch, whore, cumslut) … awful names, but all true, she couldn’t get enough – gagging on his beautiful gorgeous cock, she’d wanted it, wanted the gagging, the choking, the tears streaming down her face, the messy saliva/pre-come drooling down her, dripping onto her breasts and her aching tortured nipples… naughty sex bitchs from birmingham
Im having trouble telling whether I am just panicking or if I need to leave my SO. Im 27, we have been together since we started college. Its been 8 years. Minimal fighting, only one breakup, last year for a few weeks. Overall, its been smooth sailing. He is what every woman searches for, essentially: Honest, educated, caring, in shape, faithful, loving, great in bed We started out having tons of fun together studying and stuff. Graduated. Started working. We both started Graduate programs and have almost finished them. Its been hard work this whole time with everything. And since our breakup last year, I know he is fast-tracking a proposal shit, its been 8 years for christ's sake. But now I am panicking. I cant stop wondering what it would be like to walk away from this, try something or someone new I feel like I have been with him so, that I dont have the ability to have anything to measure against I have lost my bearings on what it felt like to be just me. I have become the proverbial 'we'. I find myself daydreaming about picking up and leaving. Is this a normal battle that all have to face an lifetime with one person? Or is he just not right? Bottom line is that I'm bored, in a lull, uninterested in all things his, except sex, which remains great. Despite all his amazing strengths, I wish he cared more about being social, romantic and creative. I want to be excited but I'm just, not. He's really great about everyday stuff dinner, walking the dog, laundry and all that. But he does not do well with romance or spontaneity. He doesnt like my friends. He doesnt really have his own. It was my birthday a few months ago and he didnt do anything really. After our breakup being so recent, I had gotten my expectations up a little. Whenever I think about ending it, I stop and imagine his life without me and then I feel like complete shit because I am his single most favorite thing in the world, to put it lightly. Advice? bored and free to hang outanyone free for a cocktailIm Real and Looking. amature encounters
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