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I guess what made me come out was the fact that if I didn't, if I continued to try to force myself into this role that didn't fit me I would have eventually hurt myself. It's just self destructive to lie to yourself and everyone around you everyday. What made me finally come out to my parents was meeting someone I refused to refer to as a friend, she meant too much for me to ever do that to her. looking for genuine conversationNow, it is (though not perfectly but) much, much clearer to me what you want/need! My situation is similar to yours, and it's somewhat pathetic, but yours is way worse. Although, I believe that everyone caries the load according to their strength. Well, if it was over your strength, you wouldn't be carrying it! So my point is, you probably have a philosophy of some sort that makes it all tolerable or worthwhile. The simple fact that you are still with your wife, proves that every other known to you alternative is much worse that your present situation. At this point, I can't advise or suggest you anything. But I believe that if you listen to your heart, you'd know what you should do, if you should do anything different from what you are doing at all. intimate dating
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