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I doubt she "hates" that you get to work out during the day, I think she probably resents that you get 90 minutes of recreational personal time built into your work day when she does not. I know you're trying to help, but when you offer her a gym membership you are showing her that what you hear her say is "I want to work out too," when what she is really saying is "I want 90 minutes to myself every day too." don't overlook, disregard, or minimize that statement. Ever. I think CorpseBride made an excellent point about minimizing her complaints by offering quick solutions. She sounds frustrated and depressed, I think maybe she wants a little understanding from you instead of "solutions." The one obstacle I do her putting up is that when you come home and she wants "our time" she just wants to sit quietly and decompress in front of the TV but wants you to do that with her instead of having you do housework. That's a bit of a touchy situation, but I think you can work around it. Personally I like to come home and unwind by sitting on the couch and watching crappy TV for a few hours too. When my boyfriend comes over while I'm doing that he gets annoyed because I'm not paying much attention to him, so I've told him he should just come over after 7:00 after I've had my quiet solitude and decompression time. But of course, I prefer to do that alone while your wife prefers you do it with her. If she doesn't want you to leave her side while she decompresses but doesn't want you to talk to her either I think you have a right to ask for a compromise. Maybe during your "our time" you can relax with her a little but get up during the commercials to wash dishes, check on the, clear the table, pop in some laundry, etc. You can just say "Let me just straighten this up a sec hon, I'll be right back, do you want anything from the kitchen while I'm up?" In the term you need to have a conversation about what her goals are and what it is she really wants. For now I'd focus on taking a few small steps to help her feel more comfortable and get to a place where she can focus on her needs and the two of you can communicate more effectively. Good luck. lets make a Deming for tonightI'm not afraid of the neocons or sick religionists or totalitarian monsters or rapists or presidents who lie the country into idiot wars of aggression, and I never worry about gamma rays or the extinction of large mammals or the toxification of the planet. But ideas, oooo, they scare me so. Oh, mommy, but I am so when I hear a woman stand up for the rights and dignity of womankind, or for the rights of to be free of the minds of perversion and exploitation, ooooo, it scares me so, mommy, help me please. It scares me so much I cannot even think or muster an argument based on logic, all I can do is names and say, ooooo, you scare me. Ooooo, bogeyman, I am so paranoid, give me pills, fix my fright. Oooooo, ideas and words scare me so. Ooooo, please the thought so that we can burn the infidel woman at the stake, she is against the male establishment of pornography, let us burn her at the stake so that the men can enjoy their porn untrammeled. Oh, mommy, I am so paranoid, I can't stand to hear an idea that is new to me. Oh, daddy, protect me from the woman who says porn hurts women and and coarsens our hearts and dulls our imaginations and turns our sexuality into another saleable consumer commodity. Ooooo, such heresy. Why can't the men have all the porn they want, all the time, why can't our boy have Internet porn access????? I like it so much when the boys us b -hes and worse. Be quiet, daddy's in the den shooting up his evening porn. Let's burn the witch who suggests that porn is bad for women and. Let's burn the evil woman who says that sex should be wholesome and loving and natural and intimate and real and bonding, instead of some patriarchal fantasy produced by pornographers. Oooo, mommy, help me, someone has an idea that is different than mine. Let me names and talk about my great overriding fear. Oooo, logic is so scary. OOOooo, science and facts are so scary, give me religion and patriarchy and priests who screw. Ooooo, please, mommy, let us have our daily porn, all day, all the time, porn, rape porn, anal porn, snuff porn, let us spend our lives watching people have sex for money. Ooooooo. Ignorance and fright, just what we need to help our degeneracy. relationship advice for men
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