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My best advice is to buy the book. Read it. Have her read it. Discuss it. Explore some of the suggestions that she feels comfortable with. Letting her take control of the process can be very helpful. It take a little longer, but ultimately she needs to know that she is in charge of what happens to her asshole. =) For specific advice: -You need to understand the anatomy. And how to avoid hurting it. (the book or just e be helpful) -You need to figure out what she is afraid of. Fear/anxiety is like a dandelion you have to get to the root of it. -Find the right lube. And use a metric fuck ton of it. I am not kidding. The ass does not lubricate itself. (- anatomy) -Find what relax her. This take some experimentation. Consider it part of the journey (ie, don't forget to stop and smell the roses) -Introduce ass play, rather than full penetration, first. This help tune her in to the potential pleasure of it. Just run your finger very lightly over a well lubed asshole during, say, oral (you giving her oral, in case that needs to be said). If she doesn't like this at all, then back off. If she does then you can explore a bit further -Small toys, a finger. During oral, or any other activity that gets her highly aroused. When you get to full penetration, things like position and come into play. But you should have enough to get ya started there. women search in Innoshimathis whole scenario with your boyfriend. Listen, I'm all for getting married, it that's what two happy, committed, informed and in people want to do. But you need to hold your horses. You are chomping at the bit hard for some one who has been dating this guy for 1 or 2 years. You are and still finding out a lot about yourself, much less him. He's 31 and has been burned before. It take a while for both of you to get level headed and make good decisions for yourselves. I personally wouldn't date some one who is or has been so messed up by some one that that person has taken away my boyfriend's ability to or commit. That's a huge thing to take away from some one and it's a lot of power to hand a bitter ex. Life is too short for them sour grapes. I only get this one life and I certain things for myself, you better bet I'm going after them. How about you? You were really playing up the age thing by hyping up that you would potentially have to introduce a 50 something year old as your boyfriend. That would happen in 20 some years!!! A lot can happen in 20 years. You need to take a chill pill. What I would normally recommend to a friend in your position would be to start working harder on yourself. Take the glare off why he isn't this or that by making yourself (more?) awesome. It isn't his job to make your life perfect or turn you into what you want to be (a wife? a mother? etc.) He's in a relationship with you. If he isn't relating to you then maybe you need a new relationship or to be be single for a while. "I just want to know what the chances are of him changing his mind on his stance or if he's saying that just to get me off the topic" None of us no the chances of him changing his mind. We don't know him. Personally, I take people at their word on serious matters like marriage. casual encounter personals
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