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just want a no bs hookup Briefly my married "perfect family" friend who I TOTALLY respected looked up to came out 5 years ago divorced his wife. While surprised I tried to be supportive since they were like a second family. after he brought his new term BF to visit the bf was racist, trashy, demeaning, half his age (my friend is mid-50s), and was obviously using my friend. I kept quiet even when my once-strong friend cried every night. When I got upset they were having sex in my condo pool during the day pawing each other like teens everywhere we went I was ed uptight. Oh yeah the bf came onto me. After the visit, my friend asked if I slept with his bf (shudder) and I explained the bf came onto me. My old friend buys the bf's explanation that he thought MY bf was not good looking enough for me he wanted to help make me feel sexy wanted. Ugh! The I looked up to like an older sibling seems to have changed on every level. It's like a complete personality change and all our talks now are short I feel like a stranger. Having dinner next week to if I can salvage our old relationship but I am stuck!! Any tips on how to deal with this?
seeking my best friend for long term Remain calm. Once you let emotion take the drivers seat, you go over a. You have to be careful whenever you engage with her. Be very clear. For example: Her (emotionally out of control): I bring our over later. You (calmly): When? What time? Her (more emotion): Later! Calm down. You (Still calm): I need to know what time. Her (losing it): Six tonight, muthafucka! You (calm): Great. I be here at six tonight. Thank you. That's the way it's gonna go down, on your part. You not scream or raise your voice. If she chooses to do that, you wait until she yells herself out. When she's quiet you ask her if she's done. If she says yes, then you calmly clarify what the point of the conversation is so that you both understand what is being said. You never resort to violence, and you never take it. You walk away. If she get's physical, you walk away. Best of luck.
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