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attachment parenting concepts with that of a neurotic personality. listen to the op, he is blaming the, as if the can be something it is not. only an adult can off such a feat with the unintended and unwanted side consequences (side effects). the information we are receiving is from a highly biased source. his situation is not an uncommon one and my hopes was that i could give him what he needed not what he wanted or what he believes he needs. before any of flash's advice can be of any use, the op as well as the spouse must be in the right mind set. without this, flash is only leading them to the trough. counseling for this op (don't know about the spouse) only be an endeavor of validation but this only lead to stonewalling on the part of this op in the end. he is so typical in his actions, that they are so predictable. college stud looking forI can very clearly how you could think that. For the most part i was always in tune with her, on all levels. She played along.. she did her part.. She didn't seem to be doing anything differently that i could at the time.. Would have noticed the tears if she wasn't wearing a blind fold.. Some people can hide and control their body language very well.. Unfortunately she was in full blown hide emotions and act normal Needless to say she was a noob, she didn't do her homework as requested and failed to use one of the safewords.. I went over the safewords with her before we played.. It was safeword or the word red.. I did feel bad about that. I guessed I expected more out of a honors college student than just look at the pictures to the side Yes, i am to blame to an extent for pushing someone too hard too fast.. I made the horrid mistake of picking right off where i was with my last partner, who knew the ins and outs.. and wanted things to seem as real as possible.. that person only deplouyed the safeword once.. But she also liked to feel the full range of everything.. that same scene with a previous partner.. She wouldn't have cared if it was different guys.. Even if she felt being used and.. it was just part of the mental mind fuck that person could have handled.. Yes I did make a mistake It hurt me deeply something i remember quite well.. I did hash it out in my, how could i have not known something was a? how could i have pushed her that hard? but ultimately.. I won't hold too much blame on myself. I guess there was a moment of lack of trust.. on her part.. She figured if she would have said it, it would have not mattered.. The point is..if she wouild have said it she would have been untied and un blindfolded immediately.. All i couild do was hold her, and tell her i loved her, etc.. Same thing i did to my previous sub/lover after a super intense scene.. just to bring down the high etc.. just this time i was dealing with eatrs online dating service
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