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I am a married woman who regretfully was caught with texting another, and even meeting with him. That being said, it was unacceptable behavior on my- part. If a woman is texting any, it is for two reasons only. 1- she is feeling a lack of attention from You, and having another guy to talk to makes her feel better. 2- Due to the fact that she has hit the 40, having any type of interest from a 19 year old male, and multiple males makes her feel like she is still appealing and wanted by men. Both reasons are unacceptable. Any reason is unacceptable. There is no reason she should ever have a lot of conversation with any other male. Especially considering her history. Even if the conversations truly are innocent in nature, it does not make it okay. A lot of things start innocent, and lead to things not so innocent. As far as this 19 year old boy, she says he is going through a hard time. Okay well she isn't the only person he can talk to. A few words of comfort or advice would be fine, But ongoing texts that must be kept from You is sketchy and disrespectful to You. How would she feel if You were texting a 19 year old female, or any female for that matter and told her that the conversations were non of her business? I'm sure she would not out up with it. Bottom line, she needs to cut off the personal conversations with that, and any. She needs to cut it off now, and abstain from doing it again in the future. You need to sit her down and let her know that You are not comfortable with her talking to other men. About the that she is currently talking to, explain to her that although he need someone to talk to, she needs to tell him that it is not appropriate for a married woman to text another guy. Even if it is in a friendship manner. If she can't stop doing that one thing for You and the marriage, that raises a huge red. Why is talking to other men holding greater value than honoring your husband's wishes, and doing what is best for your marriage? What is she getting out of texting and so on that is worth upsetting and disrespecting her husband? Hopefully when You talk with her, those are questions You wont have to worry about. who needs a good licking
I don't think we can live without systems, just because of the way human social nature and cognition works. To me, the question is how flexible are the systems? How much room for maneuverability do they have in them? How do they deal with change? Are they responsive to people's needs? I also think it is good to push people out of their comfort zones (or, at the very least, certainly up to the edge of them so they're dancing right on that thin line), so I think your initial impulse was a good one. I just think that it is a delicate operation, which is why it needs a more personal touch than a "program" can usually give. I do think there are little things that could be done (although generally speaking not legislated or forced). Have you ever noticed how alike everything in the states is? Like even down to hotel rooms? You go in a hotel and all the floors are exactly the same, and all the rooms. And if you go to a hotel in another city, it's indistinguishable from one somewhere. Why? Why do we need everything to be the same? Why don't business owners take gentle risks and make their places look different or creative, acclimate people in a completely safe way to the fact that not everything is the same? Why do cities have laws that all houses have to be painted a certain, narrow range of colors? Why do people shop at chain places they recognize, even when traveling, instead of supporting independent stores? Because they know it? That discourages anything different in favor of what we're comfortable with. And since people travel a lot and the market encourages nationwide megachains, it encourages homogeneity not just within cities, but across them. But there's no "natural" reason it has to be that way, and it certainly isn't in countries. O'Fallon sex chatand with the first marriage, things were bad right away but I fought everyday to keep it together while he battled to keep everything on coals. When he left in 08, I went down a dooming spiral in which I became a temporary alchoholic to try to keep those thoughts out of my head so I could function somewhat in society. At that time, I dated several people trying to replace him I guess, to fill that void, but it never worked. When came, I met someone that made me think I was totally over my ex, but when my ex found out it was serious he wanted me back and somehow I fell back to my ex. I then became pregnant with my and I thought at that time everything was perfect and remarried him. We started a business together and I did the office work while he went out and did the jobs. As the pregancy on, the violence and emotional arose again and I found myself feeling stuck. We sat down when I was 33 weeks pregnant that once our was born, we would divorce. Well, once my was born we got caught up in the little budle of life and everything we clashed about faded away. Our business went down right after our was born. He refused to get a job so once my turned 3 months, I went out into the job market and aquired 2 jobs, in which I traded one job for another to aquire more pay and hours. I worked 60+hours a week while he was the stay at home dad and I rented out a $ mo home for us to live in. I rarly ever got to my and he constantly bickered what I rented was not good enough. The emotional started again, in which I was glad there was only so hours I had to come home to it. But I continued on, and so went 6 months. When arose, he up in which he up and left after a small disagreement. Remember I was working still 60+ hours a day, in which I had to off the next two days to figure out how the hell I could work this in such a small time frame. So I figured it out and moved into my moms, obligated to keep the same hours to afford the sitter and all of my sons needs. THEN after being gone so, months down the road he comes back STILL without a job saying he found a $ house for me to rent for us . married but looking
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