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"struggling with problems the last few (years)." What are the problems and nature of struggle? "I don't want him to make this big leap of unless we're really started making progress on our issues." What does leap of mean, specifiy? What would qualify for making progress? AND WHAT ARE THE "ISSUES"? Sexual self-confidence? What does that mean? Closet? Thoughts of? Ex's? Dress? Shower soap? Mamma? There must be 1, books on sexual self-confidence = the subject is HUGE, and you pair it with self-esteem (5, books on that), but you don't tell us the nature or degree of it either!!! I could go on for pages and pages of pleas for some specifics to get a handle on but to properly make any suggestions would require a dialog the size of "- and Peace" to understand the gymnastics of your dilemma. The only specific you presented were your ages. Then, in your next to last paragraph, you outline what you need to do. It is understandable. It tells me you understand your quagmire. Problem is that each of your sentences would require 6 months of twice a week psychotherapy. Yet you ask this forum, "What can I do," and end with a single word, "Help." My suggestion is for you two to get married ASAP, cause it's gonna take you 50 years to sort it out? 78130 women up for sex meets
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