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Your self image should not be based on whether someone wants to have sex with you or not. Much of our hangups and sexual issues stem from our past or how we grew up thinking about sex. Your desires to be with one or another are your desires and your choices. You cannot blame one for your to be with another. If your boyfriend does not want to have sex with you, and you do want to have sex with him, then you are at an impass. He should NOT have sex with you just to make you feel good about yourself. seeking teen Tully villageBare with me for a sec cuz I'm just thinking this out but I think people also forget that marriage is very different these days than it used to be. Gender rolls in western society were far more rigid. Men were expected to support their wives and financially and wives were expected to support their husband and emotionally/domestiy. Men were groomed to be the "men of the house" and women were groomed to be "good wives and mothers." I think a lot of the problems with marriage today stem from a blurring of those rolls and people having to define their marriages for themselves with a LOT more gray area. It's WONDERFUL but also very confusing. Particularly since most people are unaware of just how much the feminist movement has changed our society as a whole. It's kind of nice to think that men of my generation actually think that women are their equals. It's still happening though and things are still be ironed out. Both of your examples prove my point. "Men need to help more" -> Indicative that the male gender roll still hasn't quite solidified to be "obvious" that men need to also do things traditionally thought of as a wife's roll. The need to keep dating their spouse, I think, is fallout from the fact that women are now able to walk away from marriage without being social pariahs. They have a lot more choices (choices traditionally reserved to men) and though it's a touchy subject it's not nearly as acceptable for husbands to rape their wives. The "not enough sex" issue and cheating has been a millenia arguement so not so new. Men have been keeping mistresses for as as there were "monogamous" relationships. What I think is interesting is that men are less able to go outside of their relationships without their wives/gf's leaving them and SO it also leaves a certain amount of responsibility on the part of the women to try and keep their menfolk happy. Again fallout from the blurring of gender rolls. Where women were previously more dependent and unable to leave in a lot of situations or chose to turn a blind eye, we more and more this cheating is unacceptable so now what? situation. love and dating
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