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- people who have this discussion confabulate the extremely personal decision of whether or not to someone with the very public, very cerebral, highly academic argument for or against (usually against) marriage in general. And sure the arguments hold water, but I can't help but think that most of the time, maybe even all the time, people live in the public/cerebral/academic space so they don't have to have the uncomfortable conversation about commitment with their term partner or SO. Because check it out none of the arguments hold water. 1. Historical/political grounds don't really matter, because marriage has been everything from an institution of property to an arrangement of convenience to an arrangement made by family to a quick spontaneous trip to vegas to a life commitment made out of. Basiy, if you widen the history window large enough, you'll find a time in which marriage was much anything. So just because marriage was, at some point, something you wouldn't have done, doesn't really make it something you shouldn't do today, generally, if you have the right person. 2. Marriage doesn't make you stay, though. Marriage is simply a stated intention to stay. Divorce happens for a reason and that's because shit happens, things change. Does the presence of divorce diminish marriage? Not really. Lots of people don't get divorced and lots of divorces are for the best. 3. Well. Uh, duh. Of COURSE your partner's happiness and your happiness is important to you. You can be happily married, miserably single, and any point in between. There's no correlation between the two. So your arguments, while nice, really don't make sense as a justification to not get married. It really comes down to the personal, doesn't it? You don't want to that person for whatever reason. And that's okay. Just don't it something it's not a principled position. Personally, I like marriage. I like being able to introduce someone as my wife and have the person I'm talking to understand what that means: stated intended live partner, lover, mother to our, beneficiary, blah blah blah. Without that nice concise label of "spouse" I'd have to explain what she is to me to everyone I meet. And the term pair bonding arrangement is just too darn common not to have an institution for. affection attention passion4 mature womanThere is a difference between adoption and buying the "perfect" infant from a naive woman. I know that certain types of babies (. all American looking babies) are "in demand" and that people do anything they can to persuade the mothers of said babies to put them up for adoption. In addition to being a brokering "target" and having my daughter used as a brokering "target" I did some work for a family lawyer who was involved in brokering. I saw the discussion "Oh, yes, the mom is very, yes, she's white, yes the father is white." Meanwhile there are who are actual orphans or victims of that no one adopt because everyone's trying to buy the "perfect" from the target mom. I think this sort of thing should be illegal. Thankfully it is illegal in the sense that the mother cannot give up the until it's actually born. Any money spent on pressuring the mother is just that pressure, but it's not legally binding before the actual gets here. I didn't intend to get into this discussion but apparently saying you think a movie is stupid launches attack mode. dating simulator
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