Thank You for Making Me Go, Charlie w4m I am meeting such nice, quality men now, and they are all very appreciative. I don't have to sleep with them to get their attention. I just have to be me. It is so nice. I was so in love with you, but maybe it was a child's type of love. Maybe that magic, the endless friendship and solid feeling I always had (which you seemed to have lost so easily, which made me even, well we know the stories), maybe that was just being in love with love, with your plan for our love. Your promises were too much for you to keep, but I believed you when you said I finally had a home and a family. I believed every intention you gave, but now I am being practical, and it is so much fun! Nice, no games, respectful. Sure, we don't talk of marriage or family or moving in together, but I don't have to wonder what is going on or why there is a conflict of words and actions. They match here, and my brain is so grateful. My heart? It will get over the whole thing. The other, I haven't tried, so can't tell you yet, but even if it is half of what we had, I'll be satisfied.
I've finally figured out why I always got so scared when you looked somewhere else or someone at you! It was because you meant too much to me. That child inside was always waiting to be hurt and have you taken away. When I don't care, it doesn't matter who looks. Real Catch 22, isn't it? Conundrum! Well, I guess I have to compromise for my sanity. I did not help our situation, but your love for you know who and your games there did not either. She and I would have been like sisters. What will you give them now?
Anyway, I'm having the time of my life and all the bad habits are not even a thought. Just takes a little appreciation and respect, I guess. I still love you, but I know you are not healthy now and you will not get the help you need, so I have to make myself try harder elsewhere and take the consequences of that. Can't all be so perfect, right?
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I'm wondering how everyone handled the aftermath, so i'll post a little background about my situation first then get to my question. My story is simple, met someone and very quickly we became entangled. Jumped into a volatile relationship to begin with (she was fairly unstable, would have anger fits for no reason, throw things when she didn't get her way, her ex when i wasn't around so on.), i chose to overlook all these things and jumped in, i guess i figured i could fix her. Well after we became an official couple, she started spending money from my bank account (i should never have given her access but i did mistake was already made.) at first it was small amounts here and there, then it started getting out of control. When she was confronted about it she became angered and starting coming at me with nails, or whatever she could grab. I avoided hitting her (although at the end of there a few times I gave it some serious thought), I'm not a small guy 6' pounds, spent a lot of time at the gym, I knew if it ever got out of hand i'd end up doing some serious damage, so instead i chose to walk away, or take the hits and head out of the house for a few hours. SO finally I opted for divorce after 8 months of married life. Problem is I did not have a prenuptial agreement, and stood to lose a lot; at the time I had an apartment, several cars (a bit of a collection), and so on. At the start of the proceedings she said I was emotionally unavailable, always working even when at home (this part is somewhat true) and it seemed that things were going increasingly in her favor, I stated my side and how terrible life with her had been but it almost fell on def ears. So my lawyer decided the best thing to do was to sit down and settle, i was given a choice between giving her proceeds from a sale of my apartment or my life savings ($75, total), at the time my Apartment would have been worth roughly $ , so i opted in for the life savings, i wanted this to be over, but what my lawyer failed to tell me is that i would be paying for her lawyer fees as well (ooops mr. lawyer how kind of you). The fees totaled up to be over 45k between mine and hers i hear that isn't much according to some people, but it didn't matter. The only way i could get that money was pulling it off all my credit cards. So here i was 45k in debt seeking one black woman for on going fwb situation
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