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r. Punishment is rigged an an attempt to change behavior. Works with some, doesn't with others. Of course you don't let a wander into traffic. That's where a parent would intervene because the logical consequences of the action are too severe. Maybe the logical consequence of that action is the can no longer be outside without the parent, or the must hold Mommy's hand, etc., etc. A random whack on the ass for wandering into traffic is like smacking a dog for coming back to you after it ran away. WTF is the message? Maybe the logical consequences of throwing your dinner plate down are no dinner. Or you have to clean up the mess before you can do anythign. Or depending on the age, maybe that is too harsh. Maybe Mom or Dad feeds you the dinner until you can be trutsed to care for your own plate. Logical consequences are scaleable to the age. Logical consequences (and never do for a what he can do for himself) actually gets to function as members of society much faster than anything. I'm not saying that parents never scold. People get pissed and upset and their tempers flare. That's kind of a logical consequence too. But to carve out "I'm going to yell at you as punishment" or "I'm going to beat your ass as punishment for this" is arbitrary and not very logical. And not very portable. Hmmm,,Mom yells when I do wrong, Dad whips my ass I wonder what this person does. And this person. And this person. attached male seeking more
Her life is messed up right now, and on top of that she's got an 11 year old to raise. She's not going to do everything right every time. But, she is the one who needs to step up to the plate with him. You did this woman a favor by taking in her and her. Unfortunately, you probably didn't know what to expect when you did. Maybe the of you hadn't spent enough time together to get an idea of what this living arrangement was going to be like. You have expectations for your home to be treated with respect. You discussed this with the mother, and then presented a list of rules that aren't completely unreasonable and are more common sense/courtesy than anything. These two didn't respect you or your home, so you asked them to leave and helped them move out. Realistiy, you did her another favor by doing so. You set boundaries and enforced them with real world consequences. A relationship shouldn't interfere with real world consequences. Unfortunately, real world consequences can and do interfere with relationships. I'm sure she's sorry as hell now, but you can't go back to living that way again, and it's really not best for her and her either. They'll have to make their own way and pull their own weight. It's not your job to make sure they do. You can keep being helpful and supportive, but you should really think hard and before you even consider letting them come back. new in area looking to find some friendsHorny people looking hornry woman strings attached
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