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that he plans to be out of there, at least by the time the are 18 but don't be too astounded if a girlfriend puts pressure on him and he walks out sooner. I'd certainly not let him touch me sexually without condoms at this point. In a way it is good because you can get your most favorable ducks in a row for a new life, and in fact, from now on you should be planning on that contingency in case he walks out sooner. If he stays until they are grown and perhaps the marriage survives, good. In my first marriage of 8 years, we kept falling in and out of with each other (he died). If he leaves, you and the survive and thrive. Read this forum about "getting ducks in a row" or other pre-divorce info and follow through ASAP. Having worked for divorce attorneys in the past, I can say that you need to be saving up money for the retainer (in CA, at least $ ). You need to start getting his personal information (social sec number, pay stubs or two, business/trade license info, anything on his accounts, phones) and start putting some tangible assets away in storage or with family ("Oh, I don't know where the xxx is, I thought you had it"). Start socking away any monies you can get away with. This is to make sure you and your are not left high and dry. If you read this forum, you know how men feel about having to pay any support to take care of their. You've seen the term "kid owner" tossed around, and although that fits some, mostly its thrown at women who are having trouble with deadbeats. You need to get your education now if needed, have day care lined up, all the things most favorable to yourself and your. He doesn't care about your feelings nor really your -' feelings, so although this means,avoid arguing because now it's time for you to be cold, rational and polite at all times in your dealings with him, as with any serious adversary. Also, start to develop a good social life outside of the marriage, not with sex but developing a network of support. Some men feel that they are screwed with custody, but often, they seem to act like they don't have any once the marriage is over, so without saying anything about your marriage, maybe get your dad and brothers involved in their lives a little more. In the run, the only revenge is living well. Good luck. need a date friend and moreI am a married woman who regretfully was caught with texting another, and even meeting with him. That being said, it was unacceptable behavior on my- part. If a woman is texting any, it is for two reasons only. 1- she is feeling a lack of attention from You, and having another guy to talk to makes her feel better. 2- Due to the fact that she has hit the 40, having any type of interest from a 19 year old male, and multiple males makes her feel like she is still appealing and wanted by men. Both reasons are unacceptable. Any reason is unacceptable. There is no reason she should ever have a lot of conversation with any other male. Especially considering her history. Even if the conversations truly are innocent in nature, it does not make it okay. A lot of things start innocent, and lead to things not so innocent. As far as this 19 year old boy, she says he is going through a hard time. Okay well she isn't the only person he can talk to. A few words of comfort or advice would be fine, But ongoing texts that must be kept from You is sketchy and disrespectful to You. How would she feel if You were texting a 19 year old female, or any female for that matter and told her that the conversations were non of her business? I'm sure she would not out up with it. Bottom line, she needs to cut off the personal conversations with that, and any. She needs to cut it off now, and abstain from doing it again in the future. You need to sit her down and let her know that You are not comfortable with her talking to other men. About the that she is currently talking to, explain to her that although he need someone to talk to, she needs to tell him that it is not appropriate for a married woman to text another guy. Even if it is in a friendship manner. If she can't stop doing that one thing for You and the marriage, that raises a huge red. Why is talking to other men holding greater value than honoring your husband's wishes, and doing what is best for your marriage? What is she getting out of texting and so on that is worth upsetting and disrespecting her husband? Hopefully when You talk with her, those are questions You wont have to worry about. sex with older women
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