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Let me say up front, that I KNOW that gifts are not a requirement and that I should be thankful no matter the gift, because someone thought of me. But, that's sorta the problem. I feel the gift I received indicates EXACTLY what this person thinks of me. I have your opinions? Auntie is 87. and never married never had. Her only relatives are my DH and his siblings (5 nieces/nephews) and their families. Auntie lives 3 from my front door. My DH is basiy chained to his desk and doesn't have the same LIBERAL work hours I do. So, over the years (and because NOBODY steps up to the plate) I have slowly taken on everything Auntie needs. I take her to doctor appointments, balance her checkbook, review her bills, feed her, drive her to every family function, entertain her, help her with errands and took her in when she was ill. Auntie got a $7, tax refund this year and decided to gift it out to her family. I received a card and check (as did everyone -) and was appreciative. THEN she pulls me aside, asks me to take her to the doctor next week, and also explains that neices and nephews got $1, each; grand nieces and nephews got $ each; and me (along with 2 brothers-in-law) got $50. her 'grand' nieces and nephews are FAR from grand. Never having ed her once. Never having helped her once. Never once going out of their way to even converse with this. I pick this woman up every damn week, feed her, bring her home with leftovers for the week literally, cleaned her shit when she was ill and I get $50? I do it because she is alone. I be her in 40 years. I have no and be reliant upon neices to look after me. I treat her the way I to be treated. Honestly, and as God as my witness, I don't care about the dollar amount. Its what it represents. To me it says: You aren't family. You don't hold the same value as blood relatives. You are good enough to do all the grunt work, but that's it. My feelings are very hurt. My choices are: let it go and continue to take care of her, because its within my heart to do it. Or decide to do a lot less for this woman, knowing nobody steps up to the plate. My husband says I've totally over-reacted. Would you feel the same way? horney girls of Flintville Tennessee
a woman who is a stay at home mom can't be both independent and strong? I don't think I'm following. Everyone wants to feel 'needed'/'wanted' in some regard, but do you think perhaps you take it too far and choose partners who aren't actually a good match for you? For example, have you considered that a stay at home mom might also like to start her own home business. Or that an 'independent' might decide she'd like to stay home? What I'm saying is that what you're hoping for isn't mutually exclusive. You just need to strive for a balance. Find a partner who is happy with herself, and wants a partnership with you. Dependence on you isn't going to keep a woman from leaving. You being an amazing person and good partner is what keep a woman from leaving. What makes her happy? What makes you happy? An emotional trainwreck might need you, but eventually you'll get tired of the drama because you can't 'fix' it. A woman who only wants a career but not a family (and you want a family) isn't going to work. horny mom ChandlerWe met online and lived 8 hours away. So we saw each other on weekends. We talked for hours and hours on the phone and I thought I knew him. I kept journals throughout the years (7) and I am loathe to admit I saw the red flags but wanted so badly for him to be the one Years of therapy later, I can that my "learned helplessness", codependency and tendency to be a loving doormat were very attractive to an emotionally immature, controlling, outwardly arrogant but inwardly insecure with an inadequacy problems. Oh, and blond hair and big boobs probably didn't hurt. Now that I'm growing due to counseling, back in school and becoming more educated (psych, doesn't it figure?), the balance of power is shifting. We are a good match for some sort of odd friendship, but probably not marriage. As easy as it is to when someone needs to leave a marriage, I am finding it very difficult myself to take that plunge. I was single and lonely before but there is a difference. I am sparkly, not being conceited, it's just reality, but I attracted narcissistic princes back then. Hopefully, I won't anymore I think I'd rather be divorced, lonely, healing and available than married, intermittently miserable, lonely and unavailable for something better. free singles dating
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