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IRL I vacillate wildly between telling outrageous stories, having pretentious philosophical discussions, and being a complete hermetic shut-in. I've recently noticed it seems to have to do with the seasons. I'm wondering about SAD. Anyway, since the fo' has been slow as shit today, here's one of my stories: So, when I was in high school I lived for one year in this teeny, teeny ass town in Colorado where my mother was the City Clerk. Now, my mother takes infinite pleasure in teasing and annoying me (it's genetic, apparently), and one of her favorite things to do is pinch my ass. I have no idea why, except that it annoys the hell out of me. So, anyway, I go up to her office one day and there she is, standing over her desk, riffling through papers and looking for something while her friend S. was sitting behind the desk hunting around, too. The door was behind my mother, so when I went in, there was her huge (huge. huge! her ass is huge) ass right in my face, so of COURSE I had to run up and pinchpinchpinchpinch it like ten times. S.'s mouth dropped open, and my mother slowly, slowly stood up, turned around, and just stared at me like I was frigging crazy, at which point I managed to yelp out, "Aaaah!!!! You're not my mother!" Turns out it was, the Assistant Fire Chief for the county, and here I am, dumb fuck closeted 17 year old Ax pinching her ass. The entire next year, every time I saw her, she would giggle and wave like a little school girl just to fuck with me and my blush. Worst. Punishment. Ever. girls looking in Lugano Agno Switzerland
We never saw the little bugger, she/he must have sprayed and ran away just as I unlocked the front door this morning to let the dog out. I stepped out as usual, 5 am, greet the morning ritual and instantly could not breathe, eyes burning, quite the scene. The FUNNY thing is, I could not figure out what the odor was, perhaps it smelled different up close. I really was searching for an electrical fire in the house or on the road. So, being very clueless and just plain dumb, I sat on the couch in PJs, held dog in my lap, covered us both up for a time, took a bath, got dressed for work and still did not figure out that doggie and I had been skunked. Thank God for honest co-workers, but even after coming back home to change I could still smell it all day. AND it is in my car. Doggie and I have had two baths and I am on my third load of laundry. I your day was MUCH better and you got a giggle at my expense. hot sex funck1 large possum or 2 small (good and dead-really dead) 3 onions chopped 1 pound sausage 15 jalapenos 5 tomatoes 2 red peppers chopped 3 squirrels, cut into pieces 1 armadillo 1 cup tea can Copenhagen Chop up everything (be sure to skin the 'dillo) set it on the fire (or stove, if ya wanna be fancy) let it boil until the dogs howl. Eat with regard to the bones and serve with cheese (not green) and more onions. This is actually a recipe my cousins taught me how to cook. It is actually edible. hot sex ladies
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