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First off, I really appreciate the responses. Up until this morning, I was really hopeful, willing to do whatever it took. Then I looked in the trashcan outside. don't ask me why, I just did (when throwing away some recyclables). There was a strange shopping bag in there, and I opened it. All of her notes mostly rantings about me were in there. I read them. I took them. Not like reading her diary they were abandoned property and quite likely she meant for me to find them. She's not the retiring sort (neither am I we have always prided ourselves on our communication), so what I read wasn't a shock. She feels controlled. She needs her alone time. She needs to be appreciated. She values spontaneity. She wants me to be more of a hands-on dad (tough when I'm busting my ass in an office M-F), but most of all, she needs alone time. Which I was (reluctantly, though I get your point, FamAtty) fine giving her. Until I came across other things. Notes to a guy. A guy she used to sleep with before we were married. Notes that clearly tell me she carried a torch for him, and he her, and they have been communicating regularly. And have possibly/likely slept together. And he has been telling her all the things she wants to hear. And that she has been lying to me. I am so fucking confused and despondent, I can't believe it. This is how she spent her "alone-time" this weekend. Am I being naive to want to hold my marriage together, even after this? Am I crazy for still loving her and wanting to work things out, both for me and our beautiful? They are so innocent and wonderful. This is me. I can't believe she is the one who has turned out to be unfaithful. I am absolutely stunned. I have not told her I know, but at some point, if I don't, and she knows I know, there are ramifications for that (every time she wants "alone time," I'll know she's doing that guy and it eat at me). Regardless, it -/should come out in therapy, if not before and then what? Oh, one of her complaints about me is that I care what other people think about me. And I have always considered divorce a failure. And I don't fail at much. Oh boy do I need therapy. And a good lawyer. Cadnam xxx personalsAlmost exactly except she was married. It shocked and from your post you sound like you are in shock yourself. My BF had to cut all ties with her husband in order to move on with her life. She had been devasteated, depressed, not eating . she then told him. You have to stop ing me and explained to her friends that were mutual friends of both that she was dropping out for a bit until she can get some perspective on the situation. She told him to get his stuff out of their apartment. She eventually moved and started fresh. Even though he left, she was the one who filed for the divorce because she didn't like being in suspended. That was 11 months ago. She is healing rather nicely. She has built a successful yoga business. She travels. She eats. She's happy again. She has not met anyone yet, but then again she doesn't want too . It is hard for you right now. You have to cut the umbilical cord if he does not want to continue working on a relationship. Good luck to you free australian dating
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