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you are not crazy to think that you can restore trust. You are just overly hopeful and unrealistiy optimistic. This is no condemnation of your hopefulness, just my 30+ years of experience with a diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder sufferer. During the last disasterous 4 years of marriage, my Ex lied (almost daily) about how her "counseling" was going. A few days before seperation she finally acknowledged that she had quit counseling over 3 years prior because it was "just too hard". Mind you, we had been in "marriage counseling" for about of our marriage, and I finally decided that "she" needed individual psychotherapy (to which she agreed), otherwise, I'd divorce her. During that last 4 years she made several scary and witnessed attempts on my life (besides the run-of-the-mill domestic violence perpetrated by her, and in addition to the infidelities, lies, accusations, and general victimhood routine). Just sayin' if this all has you twisted out of shape and indecisive, take a few dozen hours to research BPD. You find that you are not alone in your grief. There's a book ed "Walking on Eggshells". If your stbx is truly BPD, you find that the book was written directly to and for you. There is a workbook to help you overcome the personality traits that allowed you to become enmeshed in a relationship with a BPD sufferer. And there are also workbooks for you and your attorney when you decide to "Split" or divorce from a BPD sufferer. And if you think things were complicated during marriage, just wait until you actually pull the plug on the relationship! You ain't seen ugly yet. horny girls Creola OhioWe've had marriage problems for 2 years, and he's been blaming them all on me. His reasons didn't have any basis in reality. He was deeply in debt from a prior marriage that had ended a year before we met. I had an inheritance that greatly improved the quality of his life. After his retirement from the Navy after 30 years, I started to notice a difference in how he acted towards me, leading to him writing me a "dear 'heartbrokenwife" letter, blaming me for how unhappy he was with our marriage. None of his reasons were true, so for almost 3 weeks we talked about "my problems". Then on a he went to play golf and when he came home I noticed his golf towel was clean, something that had never happened in all the years I'd known him so I got really suspicious. After he went to bed I got on his laptop and he hadn't changed his password in the 10 years since I'd last used one of his computers and I found over with women AND men. I forwarded them all to my account, staying up all night to do it, and then deleted his entire mailbox. I tried to fix this marriage because I truly believed the in sickness and in health, for better or worst, for richer or poorer vows. I have been investigating with the help of friends and professionals, in order to protect my assets and investments in this house. But the most devastating blow came this week when we discoved he'd been on several bi/- hook up sites soliciting sex with men all over NE for over 6 years with aliases. He was careless online and didn't cover his tracks. finders quickly located him. I am done with him now, the therapists ALL think he's a magligent narsissist which can't be cured. I have a good expensive lawyer, considered one of the best in Jacksonville and he says I do very well in the divorce but I'm still worried cause you never know with a judge. We are not mediating even though we do have to attend a mediation. He has no negative actions on my part to use against me. I guess I just wonder if anyone has found themselves in this position and how did you handle it. Any recommendations. And for you people who feel better when you put someone down, keep in mind that I would have to have an iota of respect for you before anything you said mattered. black women dating white men
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