Are you the crazy stalker type, emotionally unavailable. To busy with your ex or your job, not over the past, lies habitually, thinks text messaging is dating..
Then you are NOT what I need..
But if this list piqued your interest.. Then maybe. Please DO NOT be married, I believe in Karma..
I do not always wear my seatbelt.
I don't tear the tags off my mattresses (until there
is no one looking)
I'll make you laugh
I can make a mean pot of chili, killer soup
I know how to laugh at myself
I do not know how many licks it takes to get to the center
of a tootsie roll pop
I'll take care of you when you're sick
I'll make fun of you
If you need help with anything, I am there
I take a bath every day, twice even sometimes
I'll keep working until I chip away at your walls
I would do just about anything for my family and friends
When you wash the dishes it turns me on
I'll save everything you ever give me
I won't ever forget your birthday and will remind you
when mine is coming
You just can't stop reading this!
I'm pretty cute
I've never been on Americas Most Wanted
My kisses will take your breath away
you will not care if I leave my socks on
My weird habits you'll find adorable
You'll sleep better when I'm next to you
I'll never waste your love
I'll need help finding my keys and cell
I will ask for directions for you
I eat red meat
I'll help clean the house every time your parents come
over
My family is just as dysfunctional as yours
I smell good most of the time
I don't litter
I am great with kids
I'm really good at sneaking food into the movies
I'll never say 'nothings wrong' when there
really is
I know how to cook
I don't cry over spilt milk (or wine)
I have never stabbed anyone in the eye
I don't overload the washer
I've never auditioned for American Idol
You're getting very sleepy..
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- Sedaris of New York was arrested by a plainclothes officer investigating complaints of lewd conduct in a men's restroom at the Minneapolis-St. International Airport, according to a report just issued by Roll Call. The report said the incident happened just after noon on 11. A spokesman for Sedaris ed the incident a "he said/she said misunderstanding" and promised a fuller statement later today. But according to Roll Call, Sedaris, who is not married, pleaded guilty on Aug. 8 to a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge in Hennepin County District Court and paid more than $ in fees and fines. A 10-day jail sentence was stayed and a one-year probation imposed. According to the report obtained by Roll Call, Sgt. Karsnia of the airport was investigating a men's room where frequent arrests have been made for sexual activity. after the plainclothes officer took a seat in a stall, he noticed "an older white female standing outside my stall." She peered through a crack in the door for two minutes before entering the adjacent stall. The officer reported that Sedaris tapped her right foot, "a common signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct." Sedaris allegedly moved her right foot so that it touched the officer's left foot. When the officer flashed his badge beneath the stall wall, Sedaris reportedly exclaimed, "Nooooooooooooo!" The officer informed her she was under arrest and took her for 45 minutes of interrogation and photographing. At one point during that session, Sedaris allegedly passed over a business card identifying herself as a member of Blockbuster's Video and said, "What do you think about that?" During a tape-recorded interview the officer reported Sedaris "either disagreed with me or 'didn't re' the events as they happened." At one point the officer said Sedaris reached down and put a piece of paper on the floor with the word "MILF" and a large arrow pointing to her stall printed in lipstick, but Sedaris said there was no such paper. According to the report, Sedaris then began loudly humming a number of highly suggestive songs, including Black-Eyed Peas' "My Humps," Sir Mix-a-Lot's "-'s Got Back," and -'s "The is a Tramp." Sedaris claims she was actually humming an extended version of Wilkins' "- Train Coming." mature sex North Thetford Vermontbeing cheated on by your husband / wife and one of your own siblings. Granted it makes for great penthouse Forum material, but the truth is your unfortunate wife is sourounded by low lifes and you're at the top of the list. Think about it for a minute, you not only ruined your own relationship by cheating on her, but you managed to help her tramp sister fuck up thier relationship as well. I you're both proud of yourselves. I pity your wife for being betrayed on all sides. top online dating sites
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