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Through a number of these posts. This raises certain alarm bells for me. While I obviously don't think BDSM is inherently abusive, I do think that people sometimes turn to it for unhealthy reasons that parallel the reasons people end up in abusive relationships. For someone with low self-esteem, the attraction of submission can be quite powerful, because you can live out the self-negation and the sense of yourself as small, weak and worthless, but at the same time you can be cherished and valued for those traits. This can be deeply cathartic and help a person to build a stronger sense of self, but it can also go in the other direction. It sounds like you're at an early stage in exploring BDSM. Please remember that whatever you do in terms of BDSM, you and your Dom are two equal human beings with equal rights to happiness, safety and security, and equal rights to experiment and explore erotiy. No one has to be at fault if a scene or a hook-up doesn't work or feels awkward; you're trying new things, and not all of them be great. It's like if you were a kid from Iowa arriving in New York City and trying out all the ethnic restaurants: you don't have to clear your plate at the Ethiopian place if it tastes kinda gross, and you certainly shouldn't feel guilty for having ordered something you'd never tried before. As as you're honest with the people you're playing with, you shouldn't have to feel bad for experimenting and not loving the results every time. sex tonight Gaithersburgyour head that your ex means you harm. There is no other way to face this but a frontal. He wants to make your life a living hell. No one should have too live that way. You can do something illegally or do it above the table. My wife had the same problem when I started going out with her. Her ex was stalking her and had threatened to throw acid on her because she I had started dating. She took out a RO on him and he simply ignored it. I finally had enough of his shit confronted him in a bar. I ed him out in front of people in the bar. He followed me out into an alley(The fool) I pulled an unloaded gun and pistol whipped him with it. I told him I was teaching his ex how to use it. And that if he ever came near her again that she would use it on him. I would recommend the same thing for you. Learn to use a gun and get a concealed weapon license. There is no cop anywhere who arrest you if he ignores the RO and comes after you. You have to do this for your own sake. sex with granny
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