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I read a good analogy of relationships vs. casual relationships. In one, you are both "co-piloting" the direction of the plane, so to speak. You communicate and compromise together on equal footing. There is a balance of and respect. The casual relationship is one where there is a driver, and the other is the passenger. The driver steers in any direction of (his) choice, while the passenger just reacts to his decisions, usually more in (and afraid of losing the other) than the driver. It sounds to me like you are the passenger, waiting for the shoe to drop. You have a choice: since you've waited too to communicate what you're looking for in a relationship (- term goals included), here's your to just come out and tell him. For instance, sit him down and say, "I am looking for a monogamous relationship, and plan to get married within the next years (or whatever you have in mind). Are you willing to go with my program? How do you yourself in those plans?" Or, you could continue being the passenger, live in fear of abandonment, and play nice. It sounds like you avoid confrontation, but I'll tell you one thing: when you don't express your thoughts, feelings, or boundaries/expectations, you are bullying yourself. It's a form of low self-worth. Think about it: if you tell a what your needs are, and he runs for the hills, is that the kind of you want to be in a relationship with? Why wouldn't you tell it like it is? If you want a to respect you, then you have to start respecting yourself. lonely women Urbana
Hmm. Well, I tend to agree with him, there. Why would he want a jacket and shirt from your graduate school? Did he go there? Unless he did, he probably doesn't have any affiliation with it, other than his GF goes there. But be that as it he could have been a lot more diplomatic about how he talked to you about it. That, plus other instances (the "cheap" cologne remark, for example) tells me that his expectations are different when it comes to gift-giving. I ask what he gives you for gift-giving occasions? If the disparity is too wide, that be also be a reason for his frustration. For example, if you're giving him a shirt, and he's giving you a bracelet. He might be forgiven for feeling that the gift is indicative of the importance you put on the relationship, and be speaking out of hurt feelings. I don't say that it's right but it could be a factor in his disappointment. Granted, his words were ill-chosen, but is this a possibility? Some people come from very different gift-giving traditions. My husband is one of the most generous people in the world, but extravagant Christmas gifts make him crazy his family tended to low-key gifts to small, thoughtful or funny items, and my family's tendency towards more expensive, splashy gifts made him very uncomfortable. It caused some misunderstandings early in our relationship, because it's hard to not equate the thought put into a gift with the depth of feeling behind it. But we worked it out I scaled back and he stepped it up a bit, so now I'm not getting bedroom slippers while he's getting a leather jacket :-) Either way I'm sorry his didn't like his gift. It happens. But to declare that he never get another gift from you is just a little bratty, isn't it? Like I said, we don't know what kind of gifts he gives you, or what the expectations are. For most folks, I'd say that yeah, you accept your gift, smile, and quietly dispose of it if you don't like it. But if you can't be honest with your SO then why are you in this relationship? st simons Kiruna pussyBeautiful adult ready online dating Norman Oklahoma online dating for women
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