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clearly because this is so hurtful and so personal to you? I am not saying you need to stay with this guy. For people, this would be a deal-breaker and they would leave. Maybe you should too. However, the way you are behaving right now solve nothing and in the event that you do stay together, it be yet another hardship to overcome. In addition to the weaknesses in HIM that led him to take, he now has to deal with the fact that you are wholly rejecting him because that is how it feels to men when a partner withholds sex. Really, what do you expect to happen here? Do you expect him to nod sagely, fall at your feet and beg for forgiveness, tell you, "don't you worry, icantfindone, I give up sex FOREVER if it means being with you, getting your scraps, living in your house. I deserve it because I was such an awful person. I'll be your whipping boy and do anything you say, for as as you want. I spend all day planning romantic dates to woo you again, in the hopes that I can hold your hand. No sex for me at the end, because I am such an awful, undeserving husband." ? (That's unlikely to happen outside of a cheesy teen romance novel.) Here's the more likely scenario. He's never going to start feeling like romancing you while you are being frigid and withholding the one thing he wants. He's not going to have much motivation for those get-to-know-each-other-again dates while you're holding all the power in the relationship. You two grow further and further apart until he's finally had enough. He's already shamed by having become an addict in the first place, so he'll want to get away from you and all of your additional shame. He'll leave you and start fresh with someone new who won't have all this built up anger against him. Maybe he makes the same mistakes with her, or maybe he learned from this experience. It's hard to say. But the point is, if you really mean what you say that you aren't ready to give up on the marriage yet, then you need to change what you're doing. What you're doing spells the end. sbm for older Sequim lady
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