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So, I have spent a time thinking about and getting into the idea of more kinky, power-exchanging forms of sex, but outside of my imagination I have had very little experience beyond some simple spanking and I really really want to change that. I have tried ads here, but no one in my area seems interested or available, or maybe my inexperience shows. I've thought about going the old-fashioned route asking girls out, and then once we're comfortable seeing if she's interested but that just seems like an invitation to get a whole lot of smack talked about you around town by people who don't or won't understand (it's a small town), and it seems really amoral to make someone think they're about to get a relationship when I'm planning to ditch the second they say they don't want to be tied up. Outside of these two options, I'm not sure how to proceed. To my knowledge my city doesn't have any kind of clubs or scenes publicly dedicated to the pursuit, and I am under the impression that most alt-sex dating sites are total scams. So my question is: where/how do I find the people who like the things I like? Are there like secret signs that people paint on their doors that say they're interested? Is there a secret handshake? Do I just swallow my pride, sacrifice my reputation as "not a creep that your drunk boyfriends should harass" with the s**theads, and start asking every girl about it on the first date? The apparent inability to progress here is starting to damage my sanity. At this point, just about any sense of direction would help. For reference, I'm a male, mid 20's. I imagine that matters somehow. Tacoma looking for sex
The thing about D/s is (and I think DG touched on this) is that you can be creative in the way you manifest your own special brand of power exchange. It's YOUR D/s relationship, so you and your husband dictate what you guys do. It's of no consequence to you guys how it's viewed by others, or if it's "real" or "true" or any other bullshit little concepts people around you throw out. (And you meet those people: the "true" Dominant/sub types, who think D/s is only one way-usually theirs. Those people are to be avoided, because they attempt to sabotage and make you feel inferior for their own ego's nourishment.) Start small. Talk about any and everything as it comes along. Talk about how you'd like to act in public. Example: Would he want you to walk a stride or two behind him? Would he want you to sit on one side of him specifiy? Would he want to do all the talking in certain social situations? Would you wear any tokens of ownership like a collar or a bracelet? Would you tell other people? Talk about what you'd do at home. Example: Would certain chores be yours alone? And would he inspect the work? If so, to what level does he want? Would you refer to him by a title or continue to use his name? Would there be decisions you can make without his input, or does he want to know exactly what's going on anytime he asks? Would there be certain things he would want done daily? (Example: Upon arrival home from work, would he want dinner out or at least in progress ? Would he want something to drink? His leisure clothes laid out in advance? Take your daily routine and start imagining how you can shape and retool it to include D/s. I think you'll be quite pleased with the process, let alone the results. Meriden sluts locateNever, Never, Never, NEVER GIVE UP! Just because some people don't want to be around you does not mean you are bad. I don't know you, but I'll bet it's THEIR loss. Relationships? Different people get into, or decide not to get into, relationships at different rates. When I realized that my ex had taken YEARS from me, I made a decision not to give her any more by letting her have my feelings. It was very liberating. You can do it too. Not preaching here, but there is a Scripture that says, "Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and they that it eat the fruit thereof." I take that to mean that what we say affects how we are. It is hard to be positive when all around us looks negative. Just remember, the negative is AROUND you. The negative is NOT YOU? We all have "tapes" that we play in our heads. Mine used to be very negative self-image tapes. One day, I decided to change the mental tape, and I began saying positive things about myself. It was hard. It took effort at first, but eventually the "positive tapes" began to come as naturally as the "negative tapes" had. My friend, YOU CAN DO IT!!! Is depression real? Absolutely. Is it tough to deal with. Often the answer is yes. Can you beat it? Without a doubt. I wouldn't tell you to "just get better" any more than I would say that to a person with a broken arm. They are both medical conditions. If you had a broken arm, it might slow you down, but you would not let it stop you. The tough thing about depression is that it affects the very that you need to use to fight it. (Ugh) dating tips for men
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