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sex tonight Hogsatersby in denial. You say you don't want to be selfish by ending your marriage to find good sex. Yet you won't budge an inch on your opinion that having sex outside your marriage help it. I have a hard time that in the two decades you were married to him you didn't recognize you weren't attracted to him. That revelation usually hits after a few years when you realize you'd rather have sex with anyone but him. That usually doesn't take 20 years to figure out. Having sex outside the marriage isn't going to be the cure for your marriage. At all. You are in denial hardcore. You're not going to be convinced otherwise are you? You're going to try and try until your husband gives you permission because this is what you want. That kind of behavior is a lot more selfish than divorcing him and breaking your family apart just because you want to find good sex. It would be very selfless to divorce this and save him the pain of having to deal with the fact that you are being selfish any longer.
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