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First time posting, so please bear with me :) Was married for 18 years, officially separated since Feb. X wife has not worked until recently My mistake (and I know this was stupid on my part) was not separating financial stuff until about a year later Since Feb. date of separation: I've paid % of joint debt (approx $40k) I've paid % of all household expenses (approx $85K) including mortgage, taxes, insurance, utilities, groceries, car payments, etc. even though I was not living there. I was trying to keep her and my two high school age in the house until they graduated. I was under no separation decree to do this. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. Since separation, my X wife has also raided the the account, buying palm readings, on-line spell casting, sex toys, thousands in clothing, giving money to one of her boyfriends, etc. I have records of all of this. We'll be going to our mandetory settlement conference. Here's what I'm hoping to find out: For the joint debt, would a judge me 50% of what I've paid? If she has no cash, how would I receive that back? reduced spousal support? Any thoughts? Any experiences out there? For excessive spending on her part for the above stuff, what would a judge decide? I want to go into the settlement conference knowing what I can expect if she stone-walls me and we have to go to court. I've attempted to negotiate with her on several occasions, but she's poo-poo'd everything I've presented. I also agreed to pay for % of legal fees if she'd go to a mediator, which we did, and when we finished and she saw what the settlement was, she didn't like the amount, and told me to pound sand. Another $3K down the toilet .. I know this rambles a bit, but any advice out of experience would be GREATLY appreciated!!! Thanks! are you horny me too let s do something about it nowthat is bi-polar, and let me say that it was a very difficult relationship. Some times great, some times a nightmare. Just like the affliction itself. I was not aware of her condition when we became involved but as our relationship progressed, it became plainly evident in spite of her therapy and meds. I laud you for considering them as play partners, and them for being do open about it. It can be tough for someone to come forth and admit they are somehow "deficient", for lack of a better word. I have seen it firsthand and sa its a hell of a cross to bear. I have to agree with Question_The_Third, you need to be a very strong, patient, and understanding soul to take this on. I am not you, but I would politely pass them by and look elsewhere. hot babe
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