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black girl looking for friend or friends whether you married into it or whether by blood. Making a committment to have "nothing to do with your wife's cousin" shouldn't be the approach. This really solves nothing except causing a rip in the family structure. Both you and your wife are missing the bigger picture. The bigger picture should be, what are you doing that is causing your wife to suspect there is more? I asked you this earlier, but you never responded. I guess you'll have to answer those questions for yourself. Have you done things, behind your wife's back, disclosing information, etc., that your wife would view as deceptive? It can be something as big as meeting with the cousin and neither of you telling your wife (purposely hiding it), or not putting a stop to unwanted advances by the cousin. If so, YOU need to change your actions. YOU need to set some boundaries. YOU need to stop behaving in a way that disrespects your wife. You also need to realize that, if she is jealous of the attention or actions, maybe she DOES need/want more from you? You say she gets all the attention she needs, but that is how YOU feel. Have you asked her how SHE feels? Maybe your ideas of "adequate attention" and her ideas are completely different? IF you are not doing anything wrong, IF you can answer those questions and know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have done nothing to provoke or escalate the situation, and you have made it clear the advances are unwelcome, then it's time for you AND your wife to sit the cousin down and set boundaries. If the cousin can't respect them THAT is the time to put the wedge in the family structure. new year coming up need a new man
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I've been talking with a friend about this a lot, or variations on this theme. I do meet and lots of people who spark my interest in some way, but it's not that often that I meet someone who sparks my interest both romantiy and sexually enough for me to risk it all. After a lot of broken-heart scenarios, I'm more and more careful as I go through life. The popular myth in the predominant culture is that you meet your one true soul-mate, and it's bliss forever more. My parents were married for 57 years, until my Dad passed away. But my generation, and my friends, are a different story although I think of us still play out our version of this scenario to some degree. Like serial monogamy a series of temporary soul-mates who fade into other kinds of relationships as new soul-mates come into view. Some that being in with or besotted by limerence, if the turn-over is high enough. I'm somewhere in between, I guess. I've been with a few people who I truly fell in with. I think they were all "the one," in their own way. I don't regret any of those relationships although I did sometimes jump to far too fast. That I do regret. Now I think I found someone I want to grow old with, but we're not moving in together any time. I like the pace and arrangement we have. Maybe when we're both in our 70s we'll shack up which is a good way off yet. new Eagle Michigan live woman big pussy1. She said she likes his "carefree-free demeanor" because she knows you aren't that way and you view that as a flaw in yourself. Basiy, she's kicking you where it hurts. 2. She just had stared down a potential death. That effected her. She is probably questioning her life as a whole. 3. You need to confront the fact that she already be out of the relationship; maybe not physiy, but emotionally. 4. Anytime a wife is looking for the husband to "pay more attention" it is because she feels neglected. You not realize this because she, obviously, has a hard time expressing herself to you. 5. She (and you) are accustomed to a certain way of interacting. She wants you to be around more but when you are you get on her nerves because she has come to think of the home as "her domain." Then you are there wanting to turn down the music, turn down the heat, turn off the lights, etc. It pisses women off. She wants you there but at the same time she's gotten so used to being on her own that she's forgotten how to share. I this whole scenario "re-entry." I, too, am wound. My husband has always spent a lot of time doing his own thing and I never wanted to say anything because I wanted him to enjoy his life. In the meantime, I hated mine. The few times I did say something, he did what he wanted anyway because (I think) he was confused. You need to a therapist who specializes in couple communication. Sounds to me like she was raised in a male dominant household and have not been able to speak her mind all these years. I, certainly, could be wrong, but usually women who are hesitant to negotiate limits with their husbands, and state their needs, feel that they are beholden in some way to their husband and that they are responsible for the -'s happiness to the exclusion of their own. chat singles
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