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"Darling, I you, and this is breaking my heart, but to me, it appears that our marriage has stalled, and even worse, it doesn't seem to me like it matters to you. I've tried to talk to you several times, but you have been stonewalling me. So, it's come to this: I have an appointment for us to visit a counselor next week to what we can do about getting our marriage back on track." If he says no, then the only response you can make is to calmly say, "I've also spoken to a divorce attorney. If you don't want to go to the counselor, then we can go him I made an appointment with both. It's completely up to you where we go from here, but your choices have consequences. I you want to work on our marriage. But if you don't, I can't work on it for both of us." I'm sorry, but it does take two to make a marriage. If he's stressed out about finances, etc. or other aspects of your life together, that be contributing to it, but the avoidance crap has got to stop if anything positive is going to happen. I'm also wondering if years of alcoholism have done some memory damage yes, it seems selective, the things he remembers but also, he be messing other things up, too, and you just don't realize it. Just a thought. He wouldn't necessarily tell you if he forgot to watch football at a -'s house, for example. younger guy iso oldermarried womanJuly 8, By CERNY I’ve been an antiques dealer for 25 years, so the phone inviting me to visit a sprawling estate sounded routine. Another wealthy owner who had died. Another mansion. Another lifetime of things the surviving family members didn’t want. Another ending to another life. Sorting trash from treasure is what I do and I it. The estate was not far outside of Chicago's westerly city limits and an architectural oddity. Acres of fallow fields were split in two by an endlessly winding driveway. A small pond abutted a private. Once an enormous barn, the main house was made up of 20-plus rooms that covered floors, all overstocked with the relics of lives well lived. It would take weeks to empty the massive house. The closets were packed with the clothes of an old couple. Plain to fancy dresses in one, men's suits and worn work clothes in another. Where her tastes seemed a bit garish, his were subdued. A mismatched couple? A case of opposites attracting? In the basement was an enormous professional-caliber dark room, its contents crammed up against the ceiling tiles: Boxes of vintage cameras, lenses, old printers, film developing tanks and drawers of home-processed photographs. The quality was impressive, the amount of equipment suffocating. If it was a hobby, it was an interest that bordered on obsession. The huge kitchen was as bright and as colorful as an embossed Victorian postcard. It had been designed by a feminine hand so strong and sure, I could feel her presence. How hours did she spend preparing the thousands of meals on the huge Mission Oak dining table? After dinner he could have played the large pipe organ, which barely fit into the far wall of the paneled room. I could envision her knitting or reading, the music echoing throughout the mansion and into the nearby woods. When I opened a random drawer beside the kitchen sink, the contents startled me. Inside were hundreds of political buttons, and they were an odd mix. The oldest were mostly for Republican candidates, while the newer ones were Democrats. The overseeing the estate sale approached me as I sorted through them. Within moments I had bought the contents of the drawer. black women and marriage
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