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I think much of this is coming from some of the things you suggested, but in a different way. in itself has become more isolated; in its communities, neighborhoods, and families. I came from an extended family: aunt, uncles, cousins, grandparents, all living under one roof. This doesn't exist anymore. Relationships are made, maintained, and broken by online networks and internet. The physical closeness between women isn't there either. Women are told to toughen up, and men need to be more sensative. I'm a sensative girl, and being held by other women, to laugh, cry, be loved in a friendship with another woman. My boyfriend, or any other bf, didn't brush my hair and talk to me about deep issues in my life. Now the girls I meet find that "-" or too sexual. is sex now. But I know to be for a brother, friend, cousin, family, neighbor. But that is the close relationships I had with the women in my life. I want that, I need that, and now that is sex in this society, my mind is telling me I need to fuck that. I don't mean to say that lesbians are taking a platonic too far, by any means. I do not want my words interpreted that way. However, I feel differently about women than most people I've met and differently than I believe a lesbian would. It is all in theory what I'm saying. On the second part, my boyfriend is well informed of my nature. He's been my best friend longer than he's been my boyfriend. He loves and understands me. He is interested in a threesome, but unicorns are hard to come by, esp for a BBW. Open relationships scare him, he says mostly because of STDs. Cheating I can't do. I couldn't keep it from him, and it would devestate him, if I did that without his knowledge. We have such an open and honest relationship. I don't want to ruin that. I show him my postings and everything. I've only been with two other men besides him, both in term mostly monogomous relationships. They cheated on me, and I'm slightly polyamorous. I've never had a relationship with two people at the same time. Only a few months in between relationships that lasted for years though. Maybe I am depressed, but the therapists I have seen never felt that I had depression, nor needed medication for it. casual sex Beowawe Nevadaso since you posted a poem i post this one in response. i you enjoy it as much as i did. Monologue for an Onion by Suji Kwock I don't mean to make you cry. I mean nothing, but this has not kept you From peeling away my body, layer by layer, The tears clouding your eyes as the table fills With husks, cut flesh, all the debris of pursuit. Poor deluded human: you seek my heart. Hunt all you want. Beneath each skin of mine Lies another skin: I am pure onion pure union Of outside and in, surface and secret core. Look at you, chopping and weeping. Idiot. Is this the way you go through life, your mind A stopless knife, driven by your fantasy of truth, Of lasting union slashing away skin after skin From things, ruin and tears your only signs Of progress? Enough is enough. You must not grieve that the world is glimpsed Through veils. How can it be seen? How you rip away the veil of the eye, the veil That you are, you who want to grasp the heart Of things, hungry to know where meaning Lies. Taste what you hold in your hands: onion-juice, Yellow peels, my stinging shreds. You are the one In pieces. Whatever you meant to, in meaning to You changed yourself: you are not who you are, Your soul cut moment to moment by a blade Of fresh, the ground sown with abandoned skins. And at your inmost circle, what? A core that is Not one. Poor fool, you are divided at the heart, Lost in its maze of chambers, blood, and, A heart that one day beat you to death. sex lady
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