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Hey guys, I have been a homo for 15 years now and have only dated one guy (about 13 years ago for months). I have had my share of one night stands and gym steam room sex, but have always wanted more, so I don't engage very often in casual sex. Although I am probably above average in looks, I don't really get much male attention and when I do try to flirt or talk to other guys, I get the total brush off. This has compounded over the years, eating away at self-esteem and confidence. I tried to meet somebody the other day for a first date via and was terrified of rejection and failure so I canceled. This experience has made me realize how little self esteem I have when it comes dating and I don't know what to do about it. The thing I have been telling myself is that, it seems like such a superficial thing to be worried about, being "undatable and undesirable". I have my basic human needs met (employed, with a roof over my head, food to eat, etc) and I have it a lot easier than the majority of the population on this earth, all of which I am grateful for So, I am trying to just come to terms with this. It isn't the worst thing in the world to be "undatable" and perpetually single how to I come to accept this, but not in a feel sorry for myself kind of way. Should I just find a good therapist??!?! Thanks lookin for 420 buddy ill supplyGet hold of yourself!! It's time to get past the feeling sorry for yourself. I was married almost 25 years. I understand being ALL ALONE during the divorce process. But I also now am seeing that I am free to discover who I am, without him. Maybe you need to do that. Let go, and appreciate who you are. Maybe he didn't appreciate who you are, but you should. And if you don't, then start being someone that you like to be with, so you can have some peace with yourself. Also, be sure that you're not dealing with depression, because it sounds like you might be. Sometimes medication helps, like it did for me, but sometimes you just need to start making more positive decisions and CHOOSE to move forward. don't act on how you feel, act on how you want to be. If you want to look confident tomorrow when you your almost-ex, then ACT it. AND, you're going for your -'s activity, right? not for your ex. So concentrate on your, and his happiness, and how proud you are of him, channel your energies into only him. It takes work. real work. I know. But don't shortchange your and your attention to him because you're distracted by how you feel about your ex. and okay, he has a girlfriend. He moved on, that doesn't make you less of a person. Stop letting him control you by allowing him to have control of your feelings. You are in control of your life, and every choice you make. don't give that control to him, or his girlfriend. And it's time to find some friends. I actually answered a post for another woman looking for friends because she was also going through a divorce. We are very different, but our loneliness brought us together and now I have a to do stuff with and commiserate with and its much better for me. So you need to just get off your 'boo-hoo' stool, and dry your tears, and CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. Find something to be happy about. A beautiful day, a roof over your head, a great, a steady job. whatever it takes. Stop looking outside for validation, and validate yourself from the inside out!! And maybe get some counseling!! and learn how to start living alone, without feeling bad about it. Good luck to you oh, and finding and with a spiritual life helps too. Some people say its a crutch, but if your leg or heart or anything is broken, a crutch helps. :) woman looking man
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