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Your right. People only have control over themselves. I have mentioned things, but not in depth. I do look inward, and I also look for advice from other avenues (kinda why we are talking right now). I read a lot, and look for answers to things I might be doing and not noticing. But that doesn't mean I haven't tried multiple avenues. The book I read was her idea. She asked me to read it, and I didn't even blink an eye. She read it, and explained how she felt about the steps. But after day, nobody would come to the assumption she had even read it. She mentioned, that she didn't like feeling like she was the only one unloading the dishwasher all the time. So I made a conscious effort to make sure I was doing it when it needed done. I even organized the shelves so that the could do it and not break every glass in the house. When I am home, I clean bathrooms, organize things that are in disarray. Fix things that are broke. And I make sure that we are a family and doing things together. I always tell her when she does things on her own, that I appreciate it and that she does a good job. But one example to the other, is that I checked her engine oil and it was empty. This was while I was washing it. I told her that she should check her oil every once in a while. And I was told basiy, I never do that, and I shouldn't have to. need someone worth it cJuly 8, By CERNY I’ve been an antiques dealer for 25 years, so the phone inviting me to visit a sprawling estate sounded routine. Another wealthy owner who had died. Another mansion. Another lifetime of things the surviving family members didn’t want. Another ending to another life. Sorting trash from treasure is what I do and I it. The estate was not far outside of Chicago's westerly city limits and an architectural oddity. Acres of fallow fields were split in two by an endlessly winding driveway. A small pond abutted a private. Once an enormous barn, the main house was made up of 20-plus rooms that covered floors, all overstocked with the relics of lives well lived. It would take weeks to empty the massive house. The closets were packed with the clothes of an old couple. Plain to fancy dresses in one, men's suits and worn work clothes in another. Where her tastes seemed a bit garish, his were subdued. A mismatched couple? A case of opposites attracting? In the basement was an enormous professional-caliber dark room, its contents crammed up against the ceiling tiles: Boxes of vintage cameras, lenses, old printers, film developing tanks and drawers of home-processed photographs. The quality was impressive, the amount of equipment suffocating. If it was a hobby, it was an interest that bordered on obsession. The huge kitchen was as bright and as colorful as an embossed Victorian postcard. It had been designed by a feminine hand so strong and sure, I could feel her presence. How hours did she spend preparing the thousands of meals on the huge Mission Oak dining table? After dinner he could have played the large pipe organ, which barely fit into the far wall of the paneled room. I could envision her knitting or reading, the music echoing throughout the mansion and into the nearby woods. When I opened a random drawer beside the kitchen sink, the contents startled me. Inside were hundreds of political buttons, and they were an odd mix. The oldest were mostly for Republican candidates, while the newer ones were Democrats. The overseeing the estate sale approached me as I sorted through them. Within moments I had bought the contents of the drawer. gothic dating
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