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I find it hilarious that the one thing you focused on in my entire post was about YOUR dress. It's becoming clearer and clearer. Wear what you want, if you and your husband like it. Be overdressed clowns together, so he can enjoy showing off his arm, and you can enjoy showing up every other woman in the room. PS: Your husband is wrong to encourage you to overdress,when a dress code has been firmly established. Sounds like he have a few issues of his own with his family. If you have the balls to overdress, then you should have the balls to not get intimidated by his mother making faces at you. But it all boils down to this: You are permitting his mother's behavior to affect how you and your husband react. That's non-productive. honest and want love
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