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ca65 taking a shot at romance herePlease! In my defense in years I have only not worked the last MONTHS. Even when I was working, his piddly contribution was barely making a dent. They have always been taken care of by me. The better part of 95%. They go to public school, each plays one activity, we shop at yard sales (but only buy the best) and do not live beyond our means. Even with my chump income I managed to stay afloat. Meanwhile, their dad has purchased two rental properties and takes cruises twice a year. I don't bemoan him for his new found wealth, I just think he's short changing his. Remember, this is for the. Not me. Lastly, the need a roof over their heads, so the $ p/m goes for that. I pickup everything. I give $ to my sister towards her mortgage. $50 towards food. The rest is used for incidentals (gas, etc) People, keep in mind I have always worked except for the last and a half months. The last time he took me to court to have the CS reduced, the judge told me to come back when my turned 18. Well, he turned 18 in Nov. He graduates 8th, at which time I gift my ex husband a summons to appear in court. He boasts all the time to our friends that he got off cheap. He knows he did. And what's worse is his know. I've never had to bad mouth him b/c his right through him. I just keep telling them that he loves them. adult sex dating
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So, the other day bf and I had a discussion about $$ and who should pay for what. My point was that, as I do not have an ownership stake in his home (I pay rent), I shouldn't have to pay for things like upkeep and improvements to the home. BF agreed and that was that. But his response didn't sit right with me because it was clear that he hadn't really EVER considered WHEN we might be joining finances, becoming a "team" and, well, committing to togetherness for the term. And me being me, after a day or two of worrying/wondering about it, I broached the subject of term togetherness with BF. Frankly, I thought we HAD committed to that when we agreed to move in together, but that BF needed a few months to make sure that, under the same roof, we all worked well together. He and I are very, very happy with each other. He told me, when I couldn't stop myself from raising the issue of "what about the, term do you us together? Is that what you want?" that I was the best thing to ever happen to him and that he didn't want to "push me away" with his failure to act/plan for the future. He can't quite articulate just WHAT he needs or wants for the future. He just keeps saying that he's not accustomed to thinking about his future and that doing so makes him very anxious (he has anxiety issues anyway). From my point of view, at this point in our relationship, seeing a future together should fill him with happiness, not anxiety. He's going to make an appt with his therapist to if he can work through his issues. In the meantime, I'm not sure what to do. I am afraid of what the therapy turn up, but that's not rational if the therapy reveals some deep-seated crap, it's better to know that now, right? If it's just not ever going to happen, I need to know that, too. I feel very passive right now, but I've stated my piece and need to let him figure out HIS plans and desires. I don't think there's anything I can do. I guess I'm just anxious where, a week ago, I would have said I was feeling very secure. Damn. Framlingham men married
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