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You say ask, but when you say something like "This is such and issue in our marriage I need you to stop" it is much a demand. You can split hairs, but the point is you are bringing her down in order to lift yourself up. And when you get to that point of realization, I fear it be too late. I really you get to a counselor and can actually speak about your fears of inadequacy because that fear is going to kill your marriage more than Kinkfo ever did. The only person holding back your growth is you. It is not her being faster out of the gate than you, it is you not spending the time to walk along side her in the journey. You could have invested more time into learning rather than experiencing and in turn you could have had better experiences when you did the actions. You could have posted more, but you did not. You would have learned more possibly, but you did not. You should find a better way than this, but you did not. Could, would and should. All very important things in their own way. Good luck and I you and CK the best. tattooed Vallejo male for latin womanI have been 'lurking' here for a few months and some good honest adviceon topics. This is not LTR related per se, but I you weightin. Briefly I am originally from another country (Sri Linaka) and have been in US for abt 10 years now. Went to grad school here, got married, and divorced while here and don't plan to return to 'homeland' in the near future. I had a good circle of friends for the last years but in the last couple of years every single one of them has moved out of here- some got married, so divorced, some left for jobs- life. And I find myself very alone these days. I just got out of a ltr where I am still missing the loss, the closeness badly. Have a good job and brought a house here that I like. But I feel so rudderless and wonder how I am going to live like this. No, and I have a hard time finding LTRs though(marriage and divorce)screwed me up big time and I was gun shy for a time. Now that I am ready for another LTR it seems so hard to find someone who is in a similar place. Placed a couple of LTR ads on and have been on a few dates but am finding it really tough and very lonesome. I know I should get out more but I am not the bar type and I have been somewhat depressed so havent gone and volunteered as I know I should. Previous years I had get togethers at my place/ other friendss place and this time it just seemed like a weekend, which was nice, but I having someone special, someone close with whom I could share life. I am trying to meet new people and had one date over the weekend but while I am supposed to be attractive and well spoken and all that crap, I have trouble being finding a LT and my xso immensely when it does not work out. Need a lot of timeto lick my wounds and get back in the fray again. Righ now I just feel so alone and almost like life is not meaningful, though I am norally a very positive person. I am realizing my friends were importan to my emotional health and I am so lonely again now that tehy have moved out. Anyone had similar experience? I sure can use some help. seeking for romance
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