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Plus I have a neg. But to clarify Cattail and I have exchanged hundreds of posts on her situation over the course of several years. I have my own saga of injury and recovery and am extremely aware of the effect of. I think cattail knows I very much wish her the best and was addressing an aspect of her story others can't know from a single post. I want to be careful not to tell someone -'s story and I'm of course aware I can be wrong. But I think it's safe to say his is a family with a fragile daughter that's been locked into a dysfunctional dynamic forever. Cattail knows I'm strongly of the opinion that her mother is as guilty, if not more so, of driving that dynamic. Whatever the father's, his offer to visit alone was in my view an effort to break the pattern. Cattail not be ready and that's OKAY. But IMO it would be be beneficial and an important step away from polarized dad-bad/mom-good thinking to RECOGNIZE he's at least trying. And yes, I Cat doing that I was just encouraging it (in my own way). Yelling at a kid is, but subtle manipulation with a smiley face CAN be every bit as soul-sucking and extremely damaging to individuation, yet harder to recognize. And obviously dad is clumsy: the idea of sleeping on her couch for a whole week is ridiculous. That would be too much togetherness even in vastly better circumstances. Nevertheless, it saddened me to mom back in the picture because IMO it'd be a huge step forward for Cat and dad to handle this either way, even with open conflict without mom intruding and manipulating via guilt and the appearance of good-guy gentlesness (masking one hell of a self-serving agenda). I'm not writing this properly don't have time. So let me just say, I wasn't defending dad or minimizing. And cattail, I not have made it clear in other posts, but I totally support a decision to reject his visit. I bring up the fact he's trying to challenge the polarized view of your parents. I saw some of that perhaps erroneously in your comment about his bragging being a sign narcissism. Does your mother not brag about you, as well? Sorry, this is so garbled. It's a half-assed attempt to explain my comment despite not having time to write. discreet sex RivertonNovember 25, / Opinion By CLENDINEN Baltimore JUST before Christmas in , J. Hoover, the director of the., let President D. Eisenhower know that the Eisenhower had appointed as secretary to the president, his friend and chief of staff, my godfather, H. Vandenberg Jr., was a homosexual. It was part of a pattern of persecution that would destroy thousands of lives and careers. Earlier that year, the American Psychiatric Association’s had classified homosexuality as a kind of madness, and Republican senators had charged that homosexuality in the administration was a national security threat. Hoover — the subject of Eastwood’s new film — was determined to stave off such threats. A public Puritan with a compulsively bureaucratic and controlling personality, he built an intricate system of files on people of influence — personal and confidential, official and unofficial, and all full of dirt. The most damning were the voluminous “Sex Deviate” files on famous, syndicated columnists, senators, governors, business moguls and princes of the Catholic Church, just to name a few. There was one on Adlai E., the Democratic nominee for president, because some college basketball players being investigated by the. for game-fixing claimed that, one of “the two best-known homosexuals in the state,” was nicknamed “Adeline.” There was even a file on Eisenhower himself, recording rumors of an affair with Summersby, his driver in Britain during the. One was devoted to my godfather because, while he had years of experience in politics and foreign affairs and working for his father, H. Vandenberg Sr. — a Republican senator from Michigan with a mistress and a file of his own — he also drank, and he wasn’t discreet. Apparently, the file held reports of some incidents with two enlisted men at Camp, Va., in , before he served with and became friends with my father. Worse, at the time Eisenhower appointed him to the White House, he was sharing an apartment in Washington with another. This was not uncommon. But the other had been arrested on some morals charge. That was enough for, whom Hoover later described, to an to M. Nixon, as “astounded.” dating sites online
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