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Hi again all, So much has happened since my last post and all for the good. But now I am here on advice for making a smooth transition to the next step. We are spending much more time together both alone and as a family (his mine) and although he and I are ready to make the "move in together move" it is probably just not best yet for the involved. Ok for my daughter who is going into the 8th grade. We have listened to her concerns and wants and we have agreed to wait until next (YIKES almost a whole year) to actually officially make the move. The time probably go quickly anyway as I we both have places (him house, me condo) to prepare. My questions: Ideas on getting everybody (him, me, -) use to the idea of "us as a whole" vs. the ME syndrome that we all seem to share. We all agree this is what we want, but we have also been independant for 7 years now. By the time we actually offiy make the move, I would it if everyone referred to "things" (the house, cars, furniture) as ours instead of mine, his, and hers. Also, if all others feelings were involved in decision making and plans. He and I are already very much working on this one. We sat down with each other's finance over the weekend and make term plans. He and I also discussed what needed to be done to each house and how we were going to get those things done. However, it bothers me very much (even though this is new) when SO refers to "my house" or "my car" or "my -" vs. "our house/car/-" When I bring this up, he graciously admits to understanding and trys harder, but what a ideas on how to ease him and especially our into the "Our/Us" stage instead of the "Me/Mine" stage. Those who know me, this is not a stressor, I am not worried, I have plenty of time to work through all of this. I am just looking for ideas on how to make the transition easier for all involved. I am confident that in the run, things work out beautifully. Just looking for suggestions or ideas to make the transition smoother!! Thanks! private discreet adult fun DerbyThat above was just the setup. Here's an example: My house burned down in , while I was a struggling student teacher (no pay) and single mother, living on welfare. I had just moved to this town, and knew no one. My and I lost everything we owned, except for a few clothes and dishes. I got the word while I was on a field trip with students. On the way back to town on the school bus (alone, just me and the driver), I cried and prayed, "What is it THIS time, Lord? I have no money, no friends, no where to live, and no job! What am I supposed to learn THIS time? Help me to it!" While standing in front of my burned out house a few hours later, the neighbors came out of their houses. One gave me and my a place to sleep, food to eat, and free use of her phone for as as we needed it. Another knew how to get smoke smell out of clothes and started picking through the debris. Another knew of a house for rent (bigger house, cheaper rent!)just a few doors away, and offered to babysit whenever I needed it. Two more showed up with their truck, trailer and strong backs to haul away my destroyed belongings. Within two weeks, donations had poured in so much that I had more than my new house could hold. I'd replaced everything I lost, and then some. and teachers, neighbors, strangers all donated food, cleaning supplies, toys, clothes, furniture, TVs, money, etc. I made a list of those donations, and sent out over thank-you notes. Then my pastor asked, "now that the smoke has cleared, what OTHER needs do you still have?" I told him, "Only one! I need someone to turn off the faucet! I have TVs, couches, and kitchen utensil sets. How do I make it stop?" He told me, "don't be so hasty. By denying others the to help you, you're denying them the to receive a blessing." So I sent those notes to everyone who helped. And I gave all the surplus to a neighborhood church with a program to help the homeless. And I believe, over people received blessings for what they'd done for me, and more families who were in need, too. ;) sex chat room
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