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female amputee or pretender - Sedaris of New York was arrested by a plainclothes officer investigating complaints of lewd conduct in a men's restroom at the Minneapolis-St. International Airport, according to a report just issued by Roll Call. The report said the incident happened just after noon on 11. A spokesman for Sedaris ed the incident a "he said/she said misunderstanding" and promised a fuller statement later today. But according to Roll Call, Sedaris, who is not married, pleaded guilty on Aug. 8 to a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge in Hennepin County District Court and paid more than $ in fees and fines. A 10-day jail sentence was stayed and a one-year probation imposed. According to the report obtained by Roll Call, Sgt. Karsnia of the airport was investigating a men's room where frequent arrests have been made for sexual activity. after the plainclothes officer took a seat in a stall, he noticed "an older white female standing outside my stall." She peered through a crack in the door for two minutes before entering the adjacent stall. The officer reported that Sedaris tapped her right foot, "a common signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct." Sedaris allegedly moved her right foot so that it touched the officer's left foot. When the officer flashed his badge beneath the stall wall, Sedaris reportedly exclaimed, "Nooooooooooooo!" The officer informed her she was under arrest and took her for 45 minutes of interrogation and photographing. At one point during that session, Sedaris allegedly passed over a business card identifying herself as a member of Blockbuster's Video and said, "What do you think about that?" During a tape-recorded interview the officer reported Sedaris "either disagreed with me or 'didn't re' the events as they happened." At one point the officer said Sedaris reached down and put a piece of paper on the floor with the word "MILF" and a large arrow pointing to her stall printed in lipstick, but Sedaris said there was no such paper. According to the report, Sedaris then began loudly humming a number of highly suggestive songs, including Black-Eyed Peas' "My Humps," Sir Mix-a-Lot's "-'s Got Back," and -'s "The is a Tramp." Sedaris claims she was actually humming an extended version of Wilkins' "- Train Coming."
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