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what is it? my roommate, who's totally '- tollerant,' uses that word. background: he's lived on capHill in seattle, with his brother who had a meth/coke habit living with one or more other using gays. what he was used to was not a very broad sample of the population if you know what i mean. living with me for almost a year and a half now, and hanging out with some of the gays that i know, he has more than once made the statement, "i like your friends. they're really respectful." i've explained to him that 'disrespectful' is not a trait of people, but didn't delve too deeply into it. the statement itself bothered me tho. i guess because my straight friends are also 'respectful' but he doesn't find that extraordinary. to what you say, i don't mind women in bars at all. i have more than once been irritated to no end when they wouldn't leave me alone. one in SD went so far as to repeatedly trying to stick her hand down my pants, then ultimately tried to take my pants off right there in the bar. i don't find that any different than an obnoxious dude constantly hitting on me tho. i don't blame her gender. lol as for straight guys in bars my feelings are a mixed bag. it grinds me somethin fierce when they feel the need to announce and separate themselves from the crowd so nobody might mistakenly think they're -!! *gasp* oh no! like it's some HORRIBLE thing that's totally ok for the gays, but not HIM! when they're hangin out, having fun, and are comfortable with themselves, i'm totally fine with it. lonely and neglected date tonightI've been giving a lot of thought lately to the nature of domination and submission. I've always been somewhat averse to identifying as anything D/s it feels too claustrophobic for me, limiting but, the acts themselves one can engage in power exchange activities without existing in a predefined role or interaction. As a “meta-kinkster,” most of my thrill comes from watching my partner, the crowd the other. I read a lot about other peoples fantasies, and it occurs to me that I don't honestly have any. None that I think about constantly. There are a few latent desires that might cross my mind from time to time if the subject comes up but I never have anything in my head when I masturbate or dream of that next partner. The sum of my kink lies in a feeling in my gut a steadfast resolution to hit a particular high and make myself uncomfortable, or push myself it is interesting to say it that way but honest. When I have my trussed up and I am in control domination for me is a surrender to my base desires of the moment. That is the nature of domination for me a surrender to my own self submission is much the same a surrender to my base desires. Along with that comes an assumption that I have communicated with my partner, understand what they want (are willing to go through) and that they let me know if I am doing something unpleasant in a bad way or listen when I tell them they are doing something I'm not down for. Mental domination seems to be an entirely different beast for me though. Perhaps it has a lot to do with my past. With some people it is almost a compulsion I'm like a shark catching a whiff of blood in the water. Those people walk into the room and I can instantly feel my mental lips peel back over my fangs, spoiling to take a bite. And in that world there is absolutely no room in me for a submissive attitude. I don't have it in me to be mentally dominated. What is the nature of your kink? Is it a compulsion? A drive for a certain feeling/high? Is your kink more mental or more physical? If you engage in power exchange what is the nature of your domination? What is the nature of your submission? Do you fantasize? And if so how does that translate into your actions? man woman sex
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