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For me personally the phrase "secret fun" is an automatic no, because it implies someone's lying. Same with the word "discreet." Possibly the word you want is "private." For whatever it's worth, I've met two doms through misc. romance and had ish term relationships with each (1 year, 2 years). But that was several years ago, and now doesn't seem like the right venue anymore. Met my current partner through a local group, and a previous play partner through Fetlife. I believe the vast majority of kinky play occurs in private but never underestimate the value of spending some time out in the community (munches, workshops, other events) for meeting potential partners. you use me to see him but i love you
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