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I imagine that the petting, soothing as it might be, occupies your hands but not your mind, so isn't much use as an alternative focus for your thoughts. (I don't know if you've told us when, in this busy schedule, you make time to ruminate on your situation, but this certainly seems like it would give you plenty of opportunity.) Your therapist also sounds too passive. "Let yourself feel it"? There's something to that, but you've been feeling it nonstop for months. That's plenty, it's time to start doing something about it, so maybe you need a therapist with ideas about that instead. My own suggestion (viz. the link above) is to change the channel immediately, over and over and over and over and over and over and over, until that habit replaces your current one of thinking all the time about something that's dead and gone. And to stop thinking of yourself as a passenger in your own life, and reach out and take the wheel. hosting tonightim vers into anything/ December 22, By MUGISHA /Kampala, Uganda WHEN Secretary of State Rodham announced this month that the United States would use diplomacy to encourage respect for rights around the world, my heart leapt. I knew her words — “gay people are born into, and belong to, every society in the world”— to be true, but in my country they are too often ignored. The right to whom we is far from our minds. Across Africa, the “gay rights” we are fighting for are more stark — the right to life itself. Here, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people suffer brutal attacks, yet cannot report them to the for fear of additional violence, humiliation, rape or imprisonment at the hands of the authorities. We are expelled from school and denied health care because of our perceived sexual orientation or gender identity. If your boss finds out (or suspects) you are, you can be fired immediately. People are outed in the media — or if they have friends, they are assumed to be “gay by association.” More benignly, if people are still single by the time they reach their early 20s, what Ugandans a “marriage age,” others begin to suspect that they are. Traditional culture silences open discussion of sexuality. I am 29. I grew up in a very observant Catholic family in the suburbs of Kampala. From the time I was old enough to have romantic feelings, I knew I was, but we weren’t supposed to speak of such things. When I was 14, I came out to my brother. Later, when others close to me asked if I was, I didn’t deny it. Though some relatives accepted me, I came out to the rest of my family slowly. Some simply chose to ignore the fact that I was, or begged me not to tell anyone, fearing I’d shame our family name. Others stopped speaking to me altogether. Africans believe that homosexuality is an import from the West, and ironiy they invoke religious beliefs and colonial laws that are foreign to our continent to persecute us. men wants women
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