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bxadvice m4w I have been married for 12 years and I am clearly at a crossroads. About a year into may marriage I was out at a work function and a coworker (woman maybe 30 at the time) was talking about how after 6 years of marriage the spark was gone. She said she still loved her husband but the sexual energy was missing. Another slightly older male coworker agreed with her.
I now fund myself in this situation. Granted we have sex maybe 1 or 2 times a month. I do my part with the marriage and the kids. I am the one who does the cooking as well as the exterior house work and some other inside work. I work full time. That being said I have tried every way to spice things up. Before I go further I do compliment her with no interest in getting something in return. Ok, back to the spice part..I have tried renting steamy movies, buying butually "pleasing" toys, tried new things in the bed. They have ALL been shot down. Occasionally she opens up a little like she is doing me a favor or, as she says, "I am trying see".
So I amdit that I am very frustrated in my marriage from a sex standpoint. I love my wife and my life but I need more from her and she is unwilling or incapable of giving me what I want. I give her everything she needs and wants. I ask her if I am unsure so I know ALL her needs are met.
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Looking for Guy Who Appreciates the Simple Things. Cyprus milf nsa relationa book ed: "ADD Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life" I began reading this book to mentally prepare for a visit to my dad's place, to make the first dent in tackling the parental hoarding situation. I also discussed the dynamics of hoarding with a psychologist and read about it on-line. I've seen a few programs on TV. An actual hoarder needs to be dealt with differently than a normal person. Guilt, shame, nagging, complaining does not work. They have layers of rationalizations that don't make sense to a normal person. For example, a stack of newspapers might be ed "a work station". Mom refused to discuss the hoarding mess, she would disolve into tears and then not talk to us for 9 months if it was brought up. I agree with the person who said the outside mess is a reflection of chaos on the inside. This is a complicated mental illness, some cross between OCD, ADD, depression and such. When dealing with a couple like my parents, it is further complicated by his resistance to change (he's used to living in the mess), criticizing, and the co-dependent lack of boundaries set in place over a 60 year marriage. My mother passed in so we are now facing the hurdle and burden of the clean up process, with, respect and, a ton of and a lot of psychological tactics to approach this one step at a time. However, you said that the GF is NOT a full blown hoarder. So, reading the book is a good place to start. There are genuine tips in it that can be helpful to tackling a big mess. Book also covers concepts like overwhelm, micro-focus, setting priorities, etc. I prefer the strategy of tackling stuff strategiy rather than one enormous clean out. It be interesting to if GF takes any steps toward bringing better organization to her life. And I'd wait to if she goes to counseling. Learning how to organize her life greatly benefit both her and her. The question is, do you have the, respect and to want to go through this process with her? I you at least try. After all, sometimes people come into our lives to be a catalyst for change. However, if you are a super neat freak, or tend to complain to get a person's agreement or compliance, then I'd explain to the GF that you are opposites in this regard, it is a deal breaker. chatroulette for adults
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