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I imagine that the petting, soothing as it might be, occupies your hands but not your mind, so isn't much use as an alternative focus for your thoughts. (I don't know if you've told us when, in this busy schedule, you make time to ruminate on your situation, but this certainly seems like it would give you plenty of opportunity.) Your therapist also sounds too passive. "Let yourself feel it"? There's something to that, but you've been feeling it nonstop for months. That's plenty, it's time to start doing something about it, so maybe you need a therapist with ideas about that instead. My own suggestion (viz. the link above) is to change the channel immediately, over and over and over and over and over and over and over, until that habit replaces your current one of thinking all the time about something that's dead and gone. And to stop thinking of yourself as a passenger in your own life, and reach out and take the wheel. i wana get done by a womanBut I have to say, just because you didn't feel a connection on date one, it be worth at least entertaining the idea of giving it another shot. Personally, my DH and another really great ltr started without that heart pounding, loin throbbing lust right away. Attraction can grow significantly with a good personality. Of course, if they hit any deal breaker, or you really don't like their personality, then don't go on a round two. And hey, you can always use the deal breaker as an excuse if that's it, or if they have a shitty personality then you wont really care about hurting their feelings. But if you are wringing your hands about hurting such a 'sweet' guy, why not give him a shot. You really never know. I have a friend (who's married now) who used to date a lot. She always said that as as she didn't HATE the guy, she'd always give him a second shot. First dates can be so misleading. She didn't 'feel it' with her DH on the first date, he was so nervous and awkward, and was even hour late she almost wrote him right off. She would have missed out on a great guy who loves her completely. hookup dating
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