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Hard to help you for reasons: your negativity, the stubborn way you cling to cognitive distortions, the way your mind roams from problem to problem so when someone tries to address problem X and causative factors A B, you respond with problems Y Z and causative factors C through G. Look, getting fired IS a massive ego blow for anyone. I am sincerely sorry it happened. Though I KNOW it's the toughest lesson in town, I sincerely you learn from it. Because you have a lot to learn. You really do. And believe it or not, this is the PERFECT time to learn and embark on big changes. It IS an opportunity to make a new start: to take an honest look at yourself, address standing problems, SOLVE them, and move forward from a stronger position. I nothing wrong with going home to regroup. It's a a good idea. The questions are: Is this right time? And is going home tantamount to blowing up your marriage? In trying to sort through that, I end up back at square one: that you're hard to help because your mind complicates accumulates problems, instead of simplifying resolving them. Attempting to cut through ALL the tangles you're further tangling, I end up with this: You ABSOLUTELY must get some decent support in your life. Neediness is the issue that's wrecking your career, relationships, and probably your marriage. It makes you anxious, demanding, critical, self-centered, and ineffective. You’ve ignored my suggestion that avail yourself of professional help, but I'm going to say more about it anyway. IMO, therapists aren't miracle workers. You need a lot more than 50 minutes per week of complaining to a therapist. For that reason, I strongly suggest you: A) Learn cognitive therapy techniques, become EXPERT at them, use your to apply them objectively and religiously. You DESPERATELY need clarity, DESPERATELY need to distinguish fears from facts. Understanding CBT and training your mind to stop awfulizing get you there. B) Join a therapy or support group ASAP. IMO you benefit greatly from group support feedback. I, personally, found it far more beneficial than individual therapy. It “help:” you’ll have a group of helpers who’ll take the pressure off your relentless demand for help in other spheres of life C) Go to individual therapy, as well, so you have a supportive person to talk to. just want to have phone sex Saint Albans West VirginiaThink about what you said for a minute she likes the thrill of exciting. But turn-on and exciting are the same word! It's like you said she likes the thrill of a turn-on. So saying you wish she found you exciting is really just saying you wish you were the turn-on and not the. The is exciting because it is a challenge. You have to figure the woman out who you are pursuing, gauge what she likes and doesn't like, read her body language even though you don't know her very well yet. There's a fine line between flirting attentively and being overbearing, and finding that is hard. And most of all it requires you to think and calculate. So, two thoughts. If the makes her think about sex, part of why she's getting turned on is just because 1) she's thinking about it, pure and simple. But she doesn't think about it outside of this context of the challenge. Why? This is #2. Only you know which one makes sense for your girlfriend. Is she stuck in her all the time? Does she like solving puzzles? Fantasizing about things? They say the is the best erogenous organ. Perhaps this is true for your girlfriend. It is not impossible to get someone who prefers the hot and bothered, but you have to set up the game, not just go in and expect it to happen. That takes planning from you. Basiy, you have to tease her. So even if you do pull it off, you still not be having sex every day like you want. But you might be able to do it more than you do now and have her enjoy it more, too. Stop thinking about lovemaking as only going on in an intimate place. You have to get her thinking about sex other times, so by the time you do get her somewhere "intimate" she'll already be interested. That means finding ways to get her to think about it when you're out and about and she can't do anything about it. But being out frustrate her immediate satisfaction when she has that thought, which, after all, is what the is all about. (And don't do it all hamhanded by just saying you want to have sex. It should have the air of accident, or there should be a question as to whether you meant what you did or not. If there's a question, she'll start thinking about.) sex clubs
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