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Perhaps I'm splitting hairs but having 'morals' attached to sex does actually work for me. I just don't believe the 'sex is wrong outside of marriage' is actually providing any sort of morality. It not be the best example but take a gun, a gun by itself is a lot of things, a tool for hunting (which people people who hunt much do for enjoyment), recreation..there are of people who like to shoot, me included though I don't do it often..and, a weapon, a weapon used with lethal force to be respected and feared. So much so that anyone using a gun for the other functions should first and foremost hold it in a high regard in order to use it safely. Sex is fun for most of us, I get great enjoyment from it. But sex also has the potential to be very powerful..there's sex that comes from pure physical chemistry, a 'why not, we have one hell of a spark' sex and there's 'oh my God I you sex where you can rattle a headboard until the bolts come loose and hold eachother in a strong embrace and never want to let go'. And unfortunately the times when sex is used as a weapon, it can only be that weapon because of the incredible power it can have in the expression of the offender is going to take that without the other to allow it. It's one of the most violating things that can be done to a human being. Adults struggle with the power of sex, I've been asked point blank which kind of sex just occured because the other person is confused and it can extend all the way to relationships. I'm glad my mom put it to me straight and even though I am by no means perfect, I held a respect for sex. She clearly spelled out the life changing consequences it could have without embellishment (something schools could learn), she warned me about getting hurt and/or hurting others, give it some thought before you jump in, serious thought. It was no bullshit and life has only shown me how right she was. I personally thing the 'big deal' is that (as as proper precautions are taken) is a HELL of a lot more than BC or disease prevention and have lost sight of it and can't seem to figure out why they just can't have all this fun without getting hurt. And I'm ok missing out on some to make sure I'm a 'responsible' horn dog. bored lonely sexting
Use the temporary sting of the unwelcome idea to remind yourself why not to continue on this course. You have plenty of time to turn it around if you take gelg's advice and stop reacting to every little thing and your husband notice and enjoy the change, which lead to a positive feedback loop instead of an increasingly negative and exhausting one. You can do it. sex holiday Pleteny UjezdI think there are LOTS of happily married people, though I have no idea if it's 'most'. I think there are a few things that play into the appearance of lots of unhappy couples. 1. Generational reasons for marriage. My grandparents probably never should or would have married each other if they came of age now. They wed very and stuck it out through things I wouldn't have (like -). My mom divorced 2x. She's a boomer. I think for her generation, for some the pendulum swung the other way. Suddenly you didn't have to put up with crap and lots of people didn't however they still married. I'm 34, and though my generation is not without issues, lots of us delay marriage quite a bit, and go into it with a little different expectations. Most of my friends, and myself are very happy in our marriages. We're no where near 25 years so we'll -! Fingers crossed. Also, these days you don't HAVE to get married the way you use to, and being is loads more acceptable, so marrying the opposite sex to 'pass' isn't done as much any more. Thank goodness. 2. Unhappy people talk, happy people shut up. You'll always here more about who's unhappy than happy. I think this skews perception. 3. For some people, what they still have in common after years IS their, so I understand why that's such a hot topic. But, I sure don't think that's everyone. I know, for instance, my mom loves me and my brother more than anything and can't wait to be a grandmother. BUT, she travels, sits on local government boards, reads a ton, volunteers like mad. She's one interesting. All her friends seem equally fascinating. It's all who you surround yourself with. 4. Parting thoughts If you feel like marriage is a trap, DO NOT GET MARRIED!!! I think it's so positive that marriage is becoming reserved for those of us who REALLY want it. And I think when you do commit to someone who deeply wants to commit to you, it's actually a very freeing experience. But I deeply respect anyone who chose not to wed knowing it isn't what they want. Choice is such a wonderful thing. discreet encounters
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