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Okay, so, personally, the idea of having personal space and living separately from a partner is not a deal-breaker for me. I've always thought a perfect living situation would be old school where you get two apartments in the same building as each other and then you can sort of wander back and forth whenever you want, but you can also shut yourself up and work or blast your music or have quiet or whatever when you need to. BUT. The part that kills me in this story is that she did all this stuff without telling you. Just bam! up and walks away into this other scenario. And not a little change. Serious. changes. Big shit. That suggests to me that y'all have WAY more serious problems than different opinions concerning whether elbow room is desirable or not. Lack of communication and completely ignoring the needs of one partner is fucked up. (And, in the event that you are coloring this story to make yourself look like the good guy, and in fact the two of you have discussed the difficulty of living together while she is unhappy for ages and you would still somehow perceive this as coming from out of the blue, the above still holds true, except now you are the person who has failed to listen and pay attention. Either way, the advice I have is the same.) Leave her. (Plus, what kind of doesn't like and dogs?) horny grannies seeking sexdancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal intention. Not saying that's the case with every person I've danced with but stil I think there's something to that expression. And really 3 x's a week of going out?! Holy crap that's a lot of going out! You didn't have any rules/boundaries for your new found social life, like I dunno maybe no guy friends or spending time alone with guys. And no, you can't go back now. What happened happened. It wasn't some "mulligan" as my dear billiesteaks likes to frame CHEATING as. Marriage isn't a fucking golf game. I shouldn't have to tell you that it's something MUCH more important and complex. You need to find a way to tell your husband. You owe him the truth. Throw yourself on the of the court, do whatever you have to do, but tell him. This is some one you vowed your life to, he deserves to know the real you. I'd have serious problems respecting myself if I didn't tell they guy. As a spouse, there might be a I'd forgive a one time cheating scenario like yours but there's probably no I'd be forgiving if I had to find out on my own or hear it from some one. You need to get to the root of why you cheated. You were lonely. You were bored. You aren't dealing with the distance well. Whatever it was/is you need to find a way to identify it and fix it because the issue isn't magiy going to go away. After some serious introspection, I'd pull up stakes and move to where hubby works no matter the how small an apartment you had to get, and rededicate your life to him. You could rent out your old house. Your family and marriage are on the line here. Your marriage is paying the price for his career. casual affairs
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