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* Please make sure you'e willing to text me all the time but never show up anytime we actually set up to go out. I really think it's hot when you continue to text me and tell me you really want to go out, but then magiy dissapear when I ask you out, then pop up again when you're "not busy"
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* As a pre-requisite, please make sure to read every self help book you can find and spend the entire time we are together letting me know what is wrong with my life. I cherish the thought that even though I'm a therapist, you feel that those books that generalize people and relationships into 5 categories are much more adapt at running my life then I am.
* Please make sure to spend an entire weekend texting me about how wonderful you think I am and how great a time you are having with me and how much you miss me and want to see me again and then on Monday get really upset and say that I'm taking things too fast when I ask you if you want to go out later that night. It's even better that you never talked to me again despite the fact that you were the one who suggested over the weekend that we should go out! You were right, I did move to fast in thinking that you were actually a decent person.
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"- DeLucci and the Miracle of Life." One morning around 5 am 22 year old DaLucci of Kittery, Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors ed the. When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing. The entire toilet bowl was boiling with brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. sluts near Eau Claireto pick yourself up. First order of business: Get a new haircut. You need to prepare for a new you. If you don't work, this gives you an opportunity to be ready for interviews. If you do work, then freshen your appearance. Two: Establish new goals. Jot down a six 12 month plan. Expand that to 5, 10 retirement goals. Goals no longer include a husband in your future. -: Have some fun. Do something at least once every 90 days to feel happy. You'll get advise along the way, some good, some bad. Weed out the crazy stuff and apply the good. Best of luck to you. classifieds ads
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