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I really appreciate the time you took to through this mess and offer advice, personal experiences, harsh words, and the rest. I do have a few new points to consider such as counseling and having more direct conversations with my wife. I admit I have my head in the sand b/c I just want to live at home with my in a peaceful house even if that means being roommates with my wife. I also understand how unhealthy that would be in the run for everyone involved. Lots of thinking to do. they all want meeasy to do as possible, cleaning wise. It require spending some money/time but it be worth it for your collective sanity. Get the large load, high efficiency, washer/dryer. Get a dishwasher if you don't already have one. Get the swiffer or awesome duster if she's still using a mop or rag. Buy her an awesome vacuum that actually works (I my Dyson, never thought I'd say I loved a vacuum) By some hooks for hanging things in the kitchen, coat area, closets. Get some space organizers, bins, color coded materials and read up on how best to manipulate your space. Take her shopping for the best cleaners and tools she'll need, find out what the professional cleaning services use. Having the right stuff makes cleaning a lot less painful and time consuming. Once you have everything, sit down and work out a cleaning schedule. Go over how often everything needs to get done. Whatever you agree on, make sure you BOTH think it's reasonable. Tell her that whatever she doesn't do during the day, you do when you get home. Then follow through. Start setting some standards that you want to be regular habits. Like cleaning up after dinner and having everything put away so you don't have to wake up to a mess every morning. That should be A FAMILY responsibility. If you set that example enough, recruit help along the way, it become a habit for every one. It take time though. You are the Dad, your leadership is vital.. It is a standing, on going agreement in our house that if one of us is doing chores so is the other one. That way we all get to spend family time together that much sooner.. Once in a while, offer to pay to have a maid come (you might have to put your money where your mouth is), just the fact that my husband offers once in a blue, makes me him even more and gets me to want to clean when I don't feel like it because I know he cares about how I feel. mature dating sites
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