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A happy marriage and A lot of people are too messed up to make that happen. But you are not. Despite that tragic event, you created a fulfilling life and have much to be have much to be proud of. I don't doubt the emotions the event are confusing. They are what they are; and you have to make peace with loving the, wishing he'd gotten help, and loathing his desperate acts the pain they caused. I know it's not easy. But you mention shame: nah, jettison shame. No rational person feels anything but compassion for the fourteen-year-old whose life exploded. She was a victim. One's heart hurts for her. The gut response of any rational adult is to want to protect her, to very much want her to be okay. And you are! Had you wanted, you could've acted out the pain confusion, turned to -/alcohol, become an embittered problem person. Instead, you kept your tender heart, married a supportive, had great are doing quite well. Of course, there are cruel irrational people. But there are also a whole lot of rational people who have been rooting for you along. You have every reason to replace shame with pride in your resilience fundamental sanity. While it’s right and natural to grieve the loss of your father, you are not him. You’re not responsible for the good things he did or the bad. Look at Kaczynski: he is greatly admired for the way he handled his familial tragedy. No shame whatsoever attaches to him for loving his brother (the unabomber) or being related to him. As for reaching out: familial tragedy is always a difficult subject. It makes people uncomfortable because they don't know what to say fear saying the wrong thing. So, you need an inner circle one or two friends or relatives you can turn to when you need to discuss this subject. I, personally, wouldn't discuss it with all my friends, only a select few. I’d also shield myself from news stories that remind me of the past. You’ve been through enough. No need to poke at the wound. You owe it to yourself, your husband to protect your sanity let the past recede. Because the truth is there really is SO much more to life, so much in the present. Nothing's more fun than Christmas with toddlers. Your life, your, your marriage, your are in the present: stay with them. lady for fucking IowaMy father I but have a distant relationship with just had knee replacement surgery. He lives in another state. My and his wife are visiting me for just 1 week and it most likely be last visit before he goes to. We, my, his wife and I wanted to go visit my dad this Monday. I am suppose to work but trying to get out of it. I told my dad if I cant get out of work Monday we come on Tuesday. He told me my sister rearranged her work schedule so she could my and his wife so they have to come Monday. He then said he can catch up with me anytime. I have not seen him in 4 months. This is the same sister who has never given my any gifts at any occasion in his life. She did not even give him a card for his wedding. So my daughter in law said they do not want to go without me. She said they are here to visit me. Now it looks like I have to work Monday. Do I try to talk my and his wife into going without me. Or should we just go Tuesday and piss my sister off. dating service match
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