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I've been here! Its mostly habit to answer and respond immediately. Kudos for having a conversation with your wife, and agreeing there is something amiss. You sound like a team. Points too for not dismissing her concern or reaction, but both wanting to modify it. First train yourself and help your wife by being prepared. I found it helped in other kid related areas as I got used to it. Not only did they interrupt sex, but bathtime, getting dressed, phone time, etc. I found that I could deal better having plan that was easy and satisfied everyone. My husband and I talked before "bed time" as this has happened on other occasions. Very little requires immediate, RIGHT NOW attention. (You'll know. Trust yourself) Fire and uncontrolled bleeding were the criteria we used to determine the "show stoppers". :D (If a kid is at the door ing "Mom?" there can't be very much wrong, that can't wait 15 minutes.) We decided to just assume someone would need something. If they didn't **I asked my husband to remind me of this before anything physical started. ** He came up with one phrase: "Fifteen minute delay right?" and a big grin. I reminded him that this was just in the trial phase, and it be aggravating, but not to get mad. It be worth it. So if a kid came to the door, I would answer, "Go back to bed. I'll be there in a few minutes." and we held each other to keep that "jump out of bed" response in check. Repeat as needed, (and it was needed a couple of times) but not to give up and give in. Hallelujah, it worked. Not instantly, but quite reapectable. Without realizing it, the learned a bit of, and that helped in other areas. I don't have to take a 30 second shower because the kid can't find her blue shorts. Story time with the littlest one got finished in one sitting, because I wasn't ed away to fix a stuck zipper. About half of the time, an explanation of what I was doing or my reasoning was not helpful. They didn't usually agree with me on what had more priority! (This was after one kid decided that my shower was not as important as replacing one of the light bulbs in the hall. We debated through the door, and I almost got out. That shower felt great.) Go for it! women in the blue shirt and big eyes
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