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if your house is in foreclosure and you don't want to spend money on deposit rent on something you can afford, what are your options? I'm no divorce lawyer, but it doens't seem right that she can spend all her and then take half yours because she spent hers? Anyway, you need some immediate relief, make a decision as to what to do for housing, quit giving your wife access to any money (that tax return that was spent, that's your own fault, you knew she would spend it) and try to catch up. Yes, the have to do without some things. IMO your wife should do wihtout aeverything unless it's necessary for life, like food. No haircuts, no manicures, no clothes, until she pays her own way, either by earnign or by not lying and spending. Get your own accounts that she can't access. Not to hide assets, but to protect your income. I'd also talk to a lawyer about her spending marital assets, the retirement funds. home alone an need attention
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