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But first, thanks for the solid, sound advice. (Minus "support the breadwinner" that was good comic relief though.) Yes, I did over-react. And yes, he did need some time to process. We had lunch. For the first 20 minutes we just sat there and nibbled like teenagers. Then we got to the real stuff. As this is a huge conversation, both of us became a bit teary-eyed at different points. But we really talked. Obviously we didn't decide anything over a turkey club. The poster who said he didn't want to wreck my masters degree was spot on. But there are work-arounds for that. The decision is: do we leave the charmed life we for a new adventure? I guess it's not a bad problem to have. I do know we'll decide as partners, though, and that's really important. I am his greatest fan and supporter, and he is mine. Maybe it's win-win. adult dating Martin City
how is the rest of the marriage. If you could honestly remove sex from the equation, for example if you couldnt get it up at all .how is she? how is your marriage? if sex had nothing to do with it is she good to you? does she respect you? is she distant (other than sexually), is she respectful, trustworthy, etc..? now, imagine yourself at 85 years old together. is she the one you are glad you spent your whole life with? I can tell you from experience sex is not so important as to ruin an otherwise good marriage. if the marriage is good except for sex, then do not ruin a good thing because of sex. been there and done that. I screwed up my marriage based on sex. the marriage was perfect xcept for that. thank god i was given a second on my marriage, because when shit hits the fan, she is the only one i want to spend my next 50 years with .so try to at least give a little more weight to the rest of the marriage too. food for thought older lonely women Scharbeutzbut that is the general treatment for alcoholism in this country. I strongly to the religious basis of it (among other things). I know the British have a system for problem drinkers where the person is awarded "weekly points" that allow, say, one drink per night, or you can skip your nightly drink and have two when you go out with friends. Seems more reasonable to me. BUT people in AA are VERY dedicated, and I think you need to pick your battles one at a time. You could easily alienate him if you try to talk him out of this treatment regimen. AA members do, IMO, become very co-dependent, and I do think it's cultish. I'm not sure you'll get very far with him even if you quote statistics. Bottom line, your bro BELIEVES he is an alcoholic you not succeed in talking him out of that or our of his chosen treatment. I'd advise you to focus on encouraging him to protect himself in the event of divorce. I bet he feels very vulnerable right now and his fellow AAers are his best buddies who he turns to with his troubles. I agree with you, but for your brother's sake, try to remain his friend and don't attack his chosen mode of treatment. I do think you'll alienate him, and he really needs a sane person (you) in his life. matchmaking dating
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